Build Date: Tue Jun 2 01:50:10 2026 UTC
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.
-- Dr. Gonzo
More Bullshit Fearmongering Over Ecstasy
2002-01-08 13:46:04
Here we go again -- the anti-drug establishment has been picking up steam on the STOP ECSTASY issue, and a new bill in the California Legislature would bring even more dumbhanded shitpain on the people who know most about drugs in this country. Back once more into the breach, maties!
Here's the deal: California Senate Bill 1103 is a new, uh, bill, which is intending to further put the screws into X users around the Golden State. Media hype over rave deaths in the last few months has driven legislators to come back to the table with the only solution they have: more and stricter punishments.
Along with making X a Schedule I drug in CA (e.g., a big, bad penalty drug, like, the drug you DON'T want to get caught with), SB 1103 will also require a MANDATORY 90-day jail sentence for being under the effects of ecstasy. That's not possession or possession with intent, folks! That's BEING UNDER THE EFFECTS. Fucked up!
We all know how well strict punishment has worked so far to prevent the grievous harm that drugs do in our country today: that is to say, it's worked terribly. Ratcheting up the penalties for simple possession of controlled substances has done jack shit to keep people alive. Driving drugs farther and farther underground -- making TALKING about drugs a crime in itself -- is killing people. Killing them with ignorance and fear.
Laws like this put people in their graves, they really do. When people are having problems on drugs, but are afraid to ask someone for information, they will do dumb things. Who's going to go to the hospital for dehydration if they know there's a 90-day jail sentence waiting for them behind the ER doors? Who's going to get their pills tested by DanceSafe? Hell, can DanceSafe and other harm reduction groups even EXIST in this kind of atmosphere? You wanna see teenagers die? Pass a law like SB 1103.
There's a great group called the Drug Reform Coordination Network that's helping to organize an anti-1103 letter drive. Take some time -- only a few minutes -- and check out their site. There's a Web form that lets you send email IN MINUTES letting your Assemblyperson and Senator know how you feel about this stupid, short-sighted, bloodthirsty law. Stop the fucking idiot war! And stop SB 1103.

T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)