Hey, so, ever been burned buying drugs? I haven't, of
course, but that's because Mr. Bad gets high on life. You
kids should too. Say Ugh to Drugs and Nope to Dope and all
that shit. This has been a public service announcement.
OK, but let's say that you DID buy drugs, like as a hypothetical situation and
shit. I've yet to find a shrink-wrapped pack of E that had nutritional
information on the side and a 1-800 customer service line. Drug prohibition
makes it quite easy for you or I (umm... I mean, YOU. As I mentioned before,
Mr. Bad gets high on life) to get seriously fucked by unscrupulous dealers who
give us bunk for our bank.
Now, wouldn't it be cool if there were a way to check that the drugs you're
buying are at least the drugs you THINK you're buying? Like, I mean, a BETTER
way than just putting them in your brain and monitoring what happens? ("Hmmm...
bleeding from the ears... shortness of breath... heart fibrillation...
catastrophic brain damage... coma... something tells me that pill wasn't what I
thought it was.")
I totally think so. That's why I dig the new wave of portable drug testing kits
that are starting to come out. I haven't seen any for anything but Ecstasy and
speed, but that's probably OK for now. Like, I expecially enjoy the fancy EZTest kits, since they not only come in
coolio R4V3R colors and stuff, but they also are EZ. Get it?