Build Date: Thu Apr 3 22:40:29 2025 UTC
Nature is a lazy Mother.
-- Anonymous
The Spockmopolitan
2000-07-03 00:12:45
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my!
The people couldn't get enough... and no one remained sober. Only the high experience level of the crowd prevented a large scale riot as El Snatcher and Special Ed mixed batch after batch. It was a resounding success. But in spite of the rave reviews, the core SRML team knew they could do better. After all, we always strive for perfection when it comes to the science of Beverotology.
So we took the recipe back to the labs after the field test to see if we could improve it. And thanks to combined triple digit years of Beverotology experience from the crack Alpha Team, Spock Mountain Research Labs achieved a breakthrough of EPIC proportions. One that can be compared with Newton's discovery of gravity and Einstein's General Relativity... We were so taken aback by the findings that we celebrated for damn near a week.
And let me tell you... after a week of celebrations, the lab was a mess. I'm not sure how many extra banknotes Mr. Bad had to pay the janitorial staff to hose the place out, bury the bodies and then sandblast everything, but whatever the cost... we consider that the price of science.
So... (drum roll please)... Spock Mountain Research Labs is PROUD to announce the first breakthrough beverage of the new Millennium... we calls it the Spockmopolitan. We know you will call it divine.
Ingredients:
- 3 oz. Top Shelf vodka (Please don't use the cheap stuff)
- 3 oz Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice
- 1 oz Cointreau
- Lime
- Blue food coloring
- Crushed ice
First, chill two martini glasses by filling them with ice and water. Then in a large shaker - fill it a third to a half full with ice. Add the vodka, cranberry juice and Cointreau. Squeeze in the juice of a whole lime. Add blue food coloring to achieve proper color. Shake vigorously. Empty ice water from the glasses and strain the mixture into the glasses. Garnish with lime.
Makes two servings.
Enjoy. We did, do and will, again and again.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
