Build Date: Tue Mar 10 19:00:24 2026 UTC
Fuck, now I'm drinking at work. This can't be any good, oh no.
-- Head Freezin' Gene
The Spockmopolitan
2000-07-03 00:12:45
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my!
The people couldn't get enough... and no one remained sober. Only the high experience level of the crowd prevented a large scale riot as El Snatcher and Special Ed mixed batch after batch. It was a resounding success. But in spite of the rave reviews, the core SRML team knew they could do better. After all, we always strive for perfection when it comes to the science of Beverotology.
So we took the recipe back to the labs after the field test to see if we could improve it. And thanks to combined triple digit years of Beverotology experience from the crack Alpha Team, Spock Mountain Research Labs achieved a breakthrough of EPIC proportions. One that can be compared with Newton's discovery of gravity and Einstein's General Relativity... We were so taken aback by the findings that we celebrated for damn near a week.
And let me tell you... after a week of celebrations, the lab was a mess. I'm not sure how many extra banknotes Mr. Bad had to pay the janitorial staff to hose the place out, bury the bodies and then sandblast everything, but whatever the cost... we consider that the price of science.
So... (drum roll please)... Spock Mountain Research Labs is PROUD to announce the first breakthrough beverage of the new Millennium... we calls it the Spockmopolitan. We know you will call it divine.
Ingredients:
- 3 oz. Top Shelf vodka (Please don't use the cheap stuff)
- 3 oz Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice
- 1 oz Cointreau
- Lime
- Blue food coloring
- Crushed ice
First, chill two martini glasses by filling them with ice and water. Then in a large shaker - fill it a third to a half full with ice. Add the vodka, cranberry juice and Cointreau. Squeeze in the juice of a whole lime. Add blue food coloring to achieve proper color. Shake vigorously. Empty ice water from the glasses and strain the mixture into the glasses. Garnish with lime.
Makes two servings.
Enjoy. We did, do and will, again and again.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
