Build Date: Tue Sep 10 23:50:10 2024 UTC
The church is near, but the road is slippery. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully.
-- Russian proverb
The Spockmopolitan
2000-07-03 00:12:45
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my!
The people couldn't get enough... and no one remained sober. Only the high experience level of the crowd prevented a large scale riot as El Snatcher and Special Ed mixed batch after batch. It was a resounding success. But in spite of the rave reviews, the core SRML team knew they could do better. After all, we always strive for perfection when it comes to the science of Beverotology.
So we took the recipe back to the labs after the field test to see if we could improve it. And thanks to combined triple digit years of Beverotology experience from the crack Alpha Team, Spock Mountain Research Labs achieved a breakthrough of EPIC proportions. One that can be compared with Newton's discovery of gravity and Einstein's General Relativity... We were so taken aback by the findings that we celebrated for damn near a week.
And let me tell you... after a week of celebrations, the lab was a mess. I'm not sure how many extra banknotes Mr. Bad had to pay the janitorial staff to hose the place out, bury the bodies and then sandblast everything, but whatever the cost... we consider that the price of science.
So... (drum roll please)... Spock Mountain Research Labs is PROUD to announce the first breakthrough beverage of the new Millennium... we calls it the Spockmopolitan. We know you will call it divine.
Ingredients:
- 3 oz. Top Shelf vodka (Please don't use the cheap stuff)
- 3 oz Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice
- 1 oz Cointreau
- Lime
- Blue food coloring
- Crushed ice
First, chill two martini glasses by filling them with ice and water. Then in a large shaker - fill it a third to a half full with ice. Add the vodka, cranberry juice and Cointreau. Squeeze in the juice of a whole lime. Add blue food coloring to achieve proper color. Shake vigorously. Empty ice water from the glasses and strain the mixture into the glasses. Garnish with lime.
Makes two servings.
Enjoy. We did, do and will, again and again.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
