Build Date: Wed Apr 2 09:00:55 2025 UTC
One wonders how prior generations survived and flourished without the Internet and alt.binaries.clits.
-- Johnnie Royale
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
2000-05-27 10:41:30
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report?
The area where I now reside is remote. In some cases, a maintained dirt road is considered a luxury. A trip to the local drinking establishment is an excursion that must be carefully planned. So you are left with only two alternatives: stock up well on supplies, or get to know your nearest neighbors really well and hope they consume as much as you do (if not more) and have rations to spare/share. In most cases, you end up doing both - stocking up, and then inviting like-minded folks from around the county to come over, have a few drinks, get naked and howl at the stars.
In doing this, we've found a nice tasty recipe that'll put hair on your back. We call it the "Johnny Royale Stopped In Customs & Given a Full Body Cavity Search Because Someone Called The Narcs & Said He Was Smuggling Three lbs. of Smack Into The Country" or it's short name:
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Ingredients
- 1 Bottle of Spicy Jamaican Ginger Beer (the spicier the better)
- 1 Measure of Georgia Moonshine
- (optional) big squeeze and/or wedge of lime
Directions
Put measure into a chilled (important) tumbler with three ice cubes. Pour in ginger beer. Hit it with the lime juice. Drink.
Two to three of these will have you braying at the moon. But that's OK. Everyone else will be as well.
Warning: the next morning, you will feel like someone's shoved their entire arm up your rectum, and used your spinal cord as a bell rope.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
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This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
