ROTTEN DOT COM HAS CRAZY NAKED DEAD PEOPLE

     
 

Red - It Will Get You Drunk
2000-01-29 17:01:54


Spocktail of the Week
 
Yippity-fuck, let's get stinkers.
-- Mr. Bad

 

This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red.

Red gets you drunk in a hurry. It's cheap (unless you buy the expensive vodka), easy to make, and is well... Red.

I haven't had a Red in years (one the bennies of making the big bucks) but I remembered the recipe as I was preparing for Y2K. This is the perfect drink for the post-apocalyptic party I intend to have after the big 9.0 earthquake hit California, or the Gray Aliens invade our sorry planet, or someone finally figures out that all the DotCom companies are a big shell game and are never never gonna make any money and the Stock Market falls like a Lawrencium (atomic weight 103) filled balloon taking the entire Western economic infrastructure with it.

To make Red you need:

  • 2 shots of cheap vodka
  • 2 heaping tablespoons Artificial Cherry Kool-Aid
  • 8 oz. of water

Mix the Kool-Aid and water, add the vodka. Add ice (if the ice machines are still working) and slam it down. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Bing. You're drunk.

You can use other flavors of Kool-Aid beside Cherry, but it wouldn't be Red now if you did that.

This is also a great recipe to take backpacking where weight is an issue. To save on weight you can substitute 190 proof Everclear for the 80 proof vodka - meaning that you only have to bring half as much liquor for the same BANG. Also, You'll need to bring a water purifier with you, as you're diluting the Everclear too much to insure that you'll kill all the bacteria found in backwoods streams and lakes. You'll want water purifier as you'll want to have plenty of water available for that big as the whole outdoors hangover you are gonna have the next morning.

Enjoy.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

backdraft@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

What the hell is going on with Sony?
by Andrew A. Gill

UK Ministry of Defense redacts classified info by changing background color to black
by Baron Earl

Meat Cocktails
by Baron Earl

San Francisco Uber Alles
by Baron Earl

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

03-26

Eugene Leitl

Spock + octopus

03-26

Baron Earl

Justice Department sends borrower to jail, declines to prosecute Countrywide CEO

03-26

Baron Earl

BBC News covers SXSW Dorkbot

03-24

Baron Earl

How to Identify a Chupacabra

03-21

JRoyale

My Fucking Job is Unbelievable

03-20

Baron Earl

Absinthe documentary

03-20

Baron Earl

UFO over Oswego

03-20

Baron Earl

Stone-washed cyclocomputer

03-15

JRoyale

Can She Taste the Roofies?

03-13

JRoyale

Pizza Delivery Instructions

More Quickies...