Build Date: Wed Apr 15 22:40:04 2026 UTC
Universal Studios is about as much fun as getting a summons.
-- Tjames Madison
Swedish Man Names His Rabbit After Spock
1999-03-01 20:30:00
OK, so, there's this guy in Sweden. And he has a rabbit and shit. And he named the rabbit after SPOCK!!!! Isn't that CRAZY?!?! Don't you think? Kinda? OK, fucking give me a break, it's a slow news day.
Hell, it doesn't even count as news per se. This guy hasn't updated his pictures of his rabbit Spock in almost three goddamned years. I don't know much about rabbits but I don't think they live that long. Hell, I saw _Pelle_The_Conqueror_ and they ate a lot of creepy shit in that movie so maybe this guy already ate his rabbit and this is just some SICK TWISTED MEMORIAL to his hapless victim or something like that.
Wait... I just thought of something! Swedes are also big PERVERT SEX FREAKOS, almost as bad as the DUTCH are! Serious! They make all kinds of porno and have sick bad laws that let anybody do anything they want. Like for example it's legal to walk around Sweden TOTALLY NAKED.
Anyways, I was thinking that maybe this SICK SWEDE BASTARD might have done something sick and PERVERTED with his rabbit Spock like SHAVED the poor little thing and then covered it with CRISCO and then SHOVED IT UP HIS ASS. I'm not saying it DID happen, I'm saying it COULD happen. This is a SOCIALLY CONDONED LIFESTYLE CHOICE in Sweden. I saw it on the NEWS, I'm serious! Look at this guy and tell me he's not capable of it. Haha, it's DIFFICULT TO DENY, isn't it?
I've been having a hard time. Xenophobia and vicarious rodent-buggering are all I have left in life. Leave me alone and go look at the goddamned rabbit.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
