Build Date: Sat Sep 5 06:00:26 2026 UTC
As Americans, we reserve the right to mispronounce, misspell, fuck, or kill anything that crosses our path. This is why the French can't stand us.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Swedish Man Names His Rabbit After Spock
1999-03-01 20:30:00
OK, so, there's this guy in Sweden. And he has a rabbit and shit. And he named the rabbit after SPOCK!!!! Isn't that CRAZY?!?! Don't you think? Kinda? OK, fucking give me a break, it's a slow news day.
Hell, it doesn't even count as news per se. This guy hasn't updated his pictures of his rabbit Spock in almost three goddamned years. I don't know much about rabbits but I don't think they live that long. Hell, I saw _Pelle_The_Conqueror_ and they ate a lot of creepy shit in that movie so maybe this guy already ate his rabbit and this is just some SICK TWISTED MEMORIAL to his hapless victim or something like that.
Wait... I just thought of something! Swedes are also big PERVERT SEX FREAKOS, almost as bad as the DUTCH are! Serious! They make all kinds of porno and have sick bad laws that let anybody do anything they want. Like for example it's legal to walk around Sweden TOTALLY NAKED.
Anyways, I was thinking that maybe this SICK SWEDE BASTARD might have done something sick and PERVERTED with his rabbit Spock like SHAVED the poor little thing and then covered it with CRISCO and then SHOVED IT UP HIS ASS. I'm not saying it DID happen, I'm saying it COULD happen. This is a SOCIALLY CONDONED LIFESTYLE CHOICE in Sweden. I saw it on the NEWS, I'm serious! Look at this guy and tell me he's not capable of it. Haha, it's DIFFICULT TO DENY, isn't it?
I've been having a hard time. Xenophobia and vicarious rodent-buggering are all I have left in life. Leave me alone and go look at the goddamned rabbit.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Tastes like key lime pie, gets you hammered like nobody's business: Introducing the Key Lime Spocktail! (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
