Build Date: Thu Sep 4 00:30:15 2025 UTC
I didn't eat any shit. I slung it back at ya like an angry mandrill.
-- h.r. taffs
Spock Center for Intergalactic Journalism Established
2002-04-19 15:29:41
The Communications Department of the University of Texas at El Paso is getting a new Center for Communications Studies... named after Mr. Spock. For some reason, however, all the stories I've seen on this insist on referring to him as "Sam Donaldson".
It's a great idea; Spock would make an excellent journalist. Using his powers of Vulcan logic to sort out active leads and parse difficult subject matter, and his ability to administer a paralyzing nerve pinch to anyone who would dare to fuck with his First Amendment right to gather and report the news, Spock would and should be a damn Edward R. Murrow for our times. So it only makes sense that UTEP is bestowing this honor upon him and encouraging generations of future journalists to follow the Spock Path.
I just don't understand this "Donaldson" business. Click on that link down there and look at that Spock picture. Spock eyebrows. Spock ears. Impassive Spock muscle tensions in his Spock face. It's Spock. Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson?
Maybe I could understand, though, if Spock were a little wary of exposing himself fully to the Humans. The last time Spock landed on this planet, if I remember correctly, he was forced to dress up like a hippie and cavort lovingly with sperm whales in a disgusting display of late-20th Century political correct egozap by the powers that be. Yeah, if I were Spock I would probably pick someone bland and anonymous like this "Sam Donaldson" character to hide my real identity behind.
Wait! I've just done a little checking, and it turns out that this "Sam Donaldson" person is, in actuality, Extremely Weird and prone to random fits of public gurgling. I have to wonder just what Spock is up to. I'm sure it must be some sort of plot, but, hell, I'm no Vulcan, so I can't keep up with that sort of high-order logic processing.
Let's just hope it doesn't involve whales or William Shatner.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)