Build Date: Sat Apr 20 05:20:06 2024 UTC
God bless the drunks and the children, and the United States of America.
-- Mark Twain
Krazy Kraftwerkish Swedes Love Spocko!
2000-03-13 10:51:25
It's true! Everybody loves Spock-o, of course, but nobody loves Spock-o like the crazy-ass citizens of the Kingdom of Sweden. And the Kraftwerkish lyrical stylings of silvery S.P.O.C.K just go to prove it!
Sure, there are a ton of bands with names that include the name of SPOCK, and most of them suck big rhino wangers. Like, they all ABUSE the Spock name without actually talking much about Spock. Which I think is criminal, dammit! You go buy a record album at the local Sam Goody outlet with the name SPOCK on the cover, and when you get home you expect to find inside some catchy melodies and heartfelt lyrics relating to SPOCK, and instead it's all about being SAD and ALTERNO and having dumb girlfriends and shit like that. It's infuriating! When I buy a box of SPOCK, I expect it to have some non-zero percentage of SPOCK INSIDE, despite any settling that may have occurred during shipping. GAR GAR GAR!
That is why the super-Euro Dieter band S.P.O.C.K is such a resounding relief for Spock-lovers everywhere. They've been recording songs that are CHOCK FULL OF SPOCK for 12 years now! Songs like "Never Trust a Klingon" and "Dr. McCoy" are INHERENTLY SPOCKISH. Yeah, they've got some of that Star Track stuff going on, which I pretty much don't understand since I never saw the Analkin Skywalker Star Track movies, but they make up for it by making important references to SPOCK. How could that be wrong?
The current line up includes Android, Yo-haan and Crull-E, and if you go to this site and look around you'll figure that these fellas are some kind of evil Scandinavian motorcycle gang, since they don't look scary and intellectual and techno like, say, KRAFTWERK. But LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER. They wear BIG SILVER JUMPSUITS and FLY-EYE SHADES, and have big "Wild One" haircuts. Jesus, man! They carry goddamn PHASERS, for crying in a bucket!
The music, of course, is hard to describe. S.P.O.C.K plays synth-heavy EIGHTIES-style art rock techno, and they have creepy-ass Dieter Swede accents. Which is how you know it's ART, and they're not just shit-house crazy. Although the two aren't necessarily incompatible.
The S.P.O.C.K page has lots of pitchers and data and information and such, and you can spend a long time dicking around there instead of filling out those first-quarter reports that your boss wanted last Thursday. The only problem I gots with the S.P.O.C.K site is that they don't carry enough MP3 musical stylings on the site. Where are the MP3s? That is what I'd like to know. But if you are interested in Spock music (and S.P.O.C.K music), you can always go dick around on Napster and find a song or so.
Beaujolais for S.P.O.C.K!
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Extreme pimpin' under pressure ... how to tell a playa from a sucka ... keeping your hoes under control ... tips for mackin' success from Pigdog's own Terrordrone. (More...)
