Build Date: Wed Jul 2 02:05:50 2025 UTC
No surgery could hide the sparkle of brilliant nuck clone mastermind evil that you have in your eyes.
-- Mr. Bad
Krazy Kraftwerkish Swedes Love Spocko!
2000-03-13 10:51:25
It's true! Everybody loves Spock-o, of course, but nobody loves Spock-o like the crazy-ass citizens of the Kingdom of Sweden. And the Kraftwerkish lyrical stylings of silvery S.P.O.C.K just go to prove it!
Sure, there are a ton of bands with names that include the name of SPOCK, and most of them suck big rhino wangers. Like, they all ABUSE the Spock name without actually talking much about Spock. Which I think is criminal, dammit! You go buy a record album at the local Sam Goody outlet with the name SPOCK on the cover, and when you get home you expect to find inside some catchy melodies and heartfelt lyrics relating to SPOCK, and instead it's all about being SAD and ALTERNO and having dumb girlfriends and shit like that. It's infuriating! When I buy a box of SPOCK, I expect it to have some non-zero percentage of SPOCK INSIDE, despite any settling that may have occurred during shipping. GAR GAR GAR!
That is why the super-Euro Dieter band S.P.O.C.K is such a resounding relief for Spock-lovers everywhere. They've been recording songs that are CHOCK FULL OF SPOCK for 12 years now! Songs like "Never Trust a Klingon" and "Dr. McCoy" are INHERENTLY SPOCKISH. Yeah, they've got some of that Star Track stuff going on, which I pretty much don't understand since I never saw the Analkin Skywalker Star Track movies, but they make up for it by making important references to SPOCK. How could that be wrong?
The current line up includes Android, Yo-haan and Crull-E, and if you go to this site and look around you'll figure that these fellas are some kind of evil Scandinavian motorcycle gang, since they don't look scary and intellectual and techno like, say, KRAFTWERK. But LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER. They wear BIG SILVER JUMPSUITS and FLY-EYE SHADES, and have big "Wild One" haircuts. Jesus, man! They carry goddamn PHASERS, for crying in a bucket!
The music, of course, is hard to describe. S.P.O.C.K plays synth-heavy EIGHTIES-style art rock techno, and they have creepy-ass Dieter Swede accents. Which is how you know it's ART, and they're not just shit-house crazy. Although the two aren't necessarily incompatible.
The S.P.O.C.K page has lots of pitchers and data and information and such, and you can spend a long time dicking around there instead of filling out those first-quarter reports that your boss wanted last Thursday. The only problem I gots with the S.P.O.C.K site is that they don't carry enough MP3 musical stylings on the site. Where are the MP3s? That is what I'd like to know. But if you are interested in Spock music (and S.P.O.C.K music), you can always go dick around on Napster and find a song or so.
Beaujolais for S.P.O.C.K!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)