"Squeal like a pig." Just saying the line conjures up images of Hillbillies and Ned Beatty's sweaty pink face. It's a powerful image, jammed into the American psyche like a fat Hillbilly cock in a tiny city-dweller's anus. The image will just not go away, no matter how hard you try. -- enigma
It's true! Everybody loves Spock-o, of course, but nobody
loves Spock-o like the crazy-ass citizens of the Kingdom
of Sweden. And the Kraftwerkish lyrical stylings of silvery
S.P.O.C.K just go to prove it!
Sure, there are a
ton of bands with names that include the name of SPOCK, and most of them
suck big rhino wangers. Like, they all ABUSE the Spock name without actually
talking much about Spock. Which I think is criminal, dammit! You go buy a record
album at the local Sam Goody outlet with the name SPOCK on the cover, and when
you get home you expect to find inside some catchy melodies and heartfelt lyrics
relating to SPOCK, and instead it's all about being SAD and ALTERNO and having
dumb girlfriends and shit like that. It's infuriating! When I buy a box of
SPOCK, I expect it to have some non-zero percentage of SPOCK INSIDE, despite any
settling that may have occurred during shipping. GAR GAR GAR!
That is why the super-Euro Dieter band S.P.O.C.K is such a resounding relief for
Spock-lovers everywhere. They've been recording songs that are CHOCK FULL OF
SPOCK for 12 years now! Songs like "Never Trust a Klingon" and "Dr. McCoy" are
INHERENTLY SPOCKISH. Yeah, they've got some of that Star Track stuff going on,
which I pretty much don't understand since I never saw the Analkin Skywalker
Star Track movies, but they make up for it by making important references to
SPOCK. How could that be wrong?
The current line up includes Android, Yo-haan and Crull-E, and if you go to this
site and look around you'll figure that these fellas are some kind of evil
Scandinavian motorcycle gang, since they don't look scary and intellectual and
techno like, say, KRAFTWERK. But LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER. They wear BIG SILVER
JUMPSUITS and FLY-EYE SHADES, and have big "Wild One" haircuts. Jesus, man! They
carry goddamn PHASERS, for crying in a bucket!
The music, of course, is hard to describe. S.P.O.C.K plays synth-heavy
EIGHTIES-style art rock techno, and they have creepy-ass Dieter Swede accents.
Which is how you know it's ART, and they're not just shit-house crazy. Although
the two aren't necessarily incompatible.
The S.P.O.C.K page has lots of pitchers and data and information and such, and
you can spend a long time dicking around there instead of filling out those
first-quarter reports that your boss wanted last Thursday. The only problem I
gots with the S.P.O.C.K site is that they don't carry enough MP3 musical
stylings on the site. Where are the MP3s? That is what I'd like to know. But if
you are interested in Spock music (and S.P.O.C.K music), you can always go dick
around on Napster and
find a song or so.
