Build Date: Tue May 12 23:20:05 2026 UTC
As Americans, we reserve the right to mispronounce, misspell, fuck, or kill anything that crosses our path. This is why the French can't stand us.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
...and then Spock killed Mr. Rourke with a NERVE PINCH
1999-12-10 00:40:47
So I was watchin' that Star Track movie the other day, "Star Track II: The Grapes of Wrath of Khan," and I was wonderin', whatever happened to that feller who was Khan in that, who also used to be Mr. Rourke on the Fantasy Island? So imagine my suprise when upon reading the newspaper, I found out that Khan has a whole new career in San Francisco, sculpting statues of people like Donny Osmond!
You see, that wily Mr. Khan, far from bein' blown up by the Death Star like what happened in the Star Track, is now workin' for the San Francisco Wax Museum, and sculptin' statues of the big stars like Donny. Some of the other famous Hollywood celebrities Khan has sculpted include Marie Osmond (because what good exactly is Donny without Marie?), Leonardo Dicrapio, and the Kate Winslet who was naked in the Titanic movie. Also he made a statue of Willie Brown.
Apparently folks are quite impressed with Mr. Rourke's sculpting abilities. He's been given high marks for his "lifelike hair," and the thickness of Donny Osmond's nostrils. I hope he makes a statue of Spock.
Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure Khan died in that Star Track movie. What the hell?
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