Build Date: Wed Sep 3 01:30:13 2025 UTC

As Americans, we reserve the right to mispronounce, misspell, fuck, or kill anything that crosses our path. This is why the French can't stand us.
-- The Compulsive Splicer

Speed Racer Calls it Quits, Sells Car

by Baron Earl

2000-06-28 18:52:52

It's not every day you can buy a car with 18" McCulla retractable pneumatic saw blades, a U.S. Navy PX18 periscope, an Airtronics remote control homing pigeon, and pneumatic auto jacks for jumping. Then again, there's only one Mach 5!

This outfit called The Child Safety Network commissioned some engineers to build Speed Racer's car, the Mach 5, and now they're auctioning it off on EBay.

The auction will be over in less than 19 hours, so if you've ever had a hankering for real speed, or a fantasy about having Trixie bent over the hood of the Mach 5, this is your chance to act.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

punchbowl@pigdog.org

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