Build Date: Thu May 1 02:40:46 2025 UTC
The only way to stop having corrupt politicians is to stop voting for them.
-- Johnnie Royale
One Day Greenwich Times Is Bastardly Queer
2000-02-08 16:40:20
Gene Ray, Cubic, explains it all for you! You see, since there's four midpoints to the day (mid-day, mid-night, sun-up, and sun-down), there are actually four days happening at once. That's right, a simultaneous 4-day time cube! Obviously, this means that god is an evil invention, education induces stupidity, and self-god is lowest human behavior.
Wow! Previously, I'd been rendered stupid by my education, but now it all makes sense! Since there's actually three Equators, there's four simultaneous days! See?
I've been cured of my queerness by this revelation!
However, not only has this taught me everything I needed to know about the universe, and enlightened me completely, wiping away the brainwashing of my youth, but it's given me a lot of important things I can yell at people:
"Only baby is born! Adult is not born!"
"4-cornered truth is ineffible by man or god!"
"All clock faces are wrong!"
"God is cornered as a queer!"
"Word is a Trojan Horse"
(which actually explains a lot about why Office 2000 keeps deleting the margins on my Avery 5388 cards)
"You Word-Murder Your Children!"
It's nice to see a mature web site that shows the truth, among so many wacked- out crackpot sites that spout incoherent lies. Just the other day, I saw some site rambling on about how there was only one day per day, and that clock faces were accurate, and that education was a good thing. Gene Ray, Cubic, helps dispel those kinds of weird rantings and shows us The Truth.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)