Build Date: Mon Oct 5 15:43:01 2026 UTC
I'm not a pyro. I don't like to watch things burn. I like to watch them explode.
-- Baron Earl
One Day Greenwich Times Is Bastardly Queer
2000-02-08 16:40:20
Gene Ray, Cubic, explains it all for you! You see, since there's four midpoints to the day (mid-day, mid-night, sun-up, and sun-down), there are actually four days happening at once. That's right, a simultaneous 4-day time cube! Obviously, this means that god is an evil invention, education induces stupidity, and self-god is lowest human behavior.
Wow! Previously, I'd been rendered stupid by my education, but now it all makes sense! Since there's actually three Equators, there's four simultaneous days! See?
I've been cured of my queerness by this revelation!
However, not only has this taught me everything I needed to know about the universe, and enlightened me completely, wiping away the brainwashing of my youth, but it's given me a lot of important things I can yell at people:
"Only baby is born! Adult is not born!"
"4-cornered truth is ineffible by man or god!"
"All clock faces are wrong!"
"God is cornered as a queer!"
"Word is a Trojan Horse"
(which actually explains a lot about why Office 2000 keeps deleting the margins on my Avery 5388 cards)
"You Word-Murder Your Children!"
It's nice to see a mature web site that shows the truth, among so many wacked- out crackpot sites that spout incoherent lies. Just the other day, I saw some site rambling on about how there was only one day per day, and that clock faces were accurate, and that education was a good thing. Gene Ray, Cubic, helps dispel those kinds of weird rantings and shows us The Truth.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Canadians Not So Different After All
Nobody wants to be prejudiced. But sometimes you can be biased and not even realize it. I think many Americans are biased in this way against Canadians. I never really stopped to think about it, but I myself used to be this way. I guess I thought that Canadians were "stuck-up" — you know, smarter and better cultured than us. But then I got educated about Canadia. (More...)
