What the hell is going on over there at Mozillur Central?
How come there's been no announcement for the next Mozillur
Dot Party? How come why why why?
Seriously, this is a crisis of epic proportions. Somebody has to do something!
The Mozilla project -- jeez, man, do I have to say what Mozillur is? The Open
Source version of Netscape and all that? The big hoohaw of 1998? -- has been
having these great parties around April 1st for the last 3 years running. April
1st, of course, being the day that the Navigator source was first opened up to
the prying eyes of the public.
Anyways, they're real good parties! I always get seriously liquored up, and SMRL
always makes a big showing. People love our crazy lab coats, and everyone dances
like drunken bears, and there's lots of nerdos and geeks, and man, party
central. There may be better parties in the world, but there's no Free Software
party like Mozillur Dot Party, guarandamnteed.
So, like, though, there's been this strange silence from the Mozillur corner.
WHY isn't there a new announcement for another party this year, which would be
like 4.0 party or something? Frankly, the parties are the only thing worth a
good goddamn at Mozilla any more. They should stick to what they're good at --
throwing big-ass parties -- and quit fucking around with this browser thing.
It's going nowhere, nobody likes it, it looks like shite, and it doesn't work.
Make parties instead! is my suggestion. Get out of the browser business.
OK, actually, the latest Mozilla builds have been pretty dead-on. I can quibble
with a lot of stuff -- like, say, the XFPE, which is completely retarded and
broken, the world's biggest waste of time and effort -- but the thing seems to
work pretty OK. However, there are some cool Mozillur derivatives, expecially
Skipstone and Galeon, which use the Mozillur rendering engine, Geckur, without
the retarded XML UI. Man, I'm sure an XML UI seemed like a really good idea in
1998, but we all now know that XML is dumb and useless. XML UI! It is to laugh!
How about a CICS UI instead? HAW!
Actually, I've probably just lowered my standards to meet Mozilla's current
ability, which if you think about it, is pretty fucking sad. I mean, I never
have had that much respect for browser implementations to begin with, so
lowering my already dismissive standards is just pathetic.
So, but, like, Mozilla is seriously stuck in the mud, everybody hates Mozillur
and picks on them and calls them shitheels. But that is NO REASON to abandon
their CORE COMPETENCY, which is throwing a damn good party. If they think morale
is bad with the current state of affairs, what do they think is going to happen
when there ain't no Mozillur Dot Party anymore? What kind of message does that
send? "We used to be all excited, now we're hopeless losers trudging in a death
march towards a 1.0 release no one is ever going to use"? Who wants to hear that?
Have a party, Mozillur people! Keerist! Quit feeling sorry for yourselves, ya
pansies, and let's set this house on fire.
