Goddammit! Where's the Info On Mozillur Party 4.0?

by Mr. Bad

2001-03-25 16:46:28

Software Jihad

What the hell is going on over there at Mozillur Central? How come there's been no announcement for the next Mozillur Dot Party? How come why why why?

Seriously, this is a crisis of epic proportions. Somebody has to do something! The Mozilla project -- jeez, man, do I have to say what Mozillur is? The Open Source version of Netscape and all that? The big hoohaw of 1998? -- has been having these great parties around April 1st for the last 3 years running. April 1st, of course, being the day that the Navigator source was first opened up to the prying eyes of the public.

Anyways, they're real good parties! I always get seriously liquored up, and SMRL always makes a big showing. People love our crazy lab coats, and everyone dances like drunken bears, and there's lots of nerdos and geeks, and man, party central. There may be better parties in the world, but there's no Free Software party like Mozillur Dot Party, guarandamnteed.

So, like, though, there's been this strange silence from the Mozillur corner. WHY isn't there a new announcement for another party this year, which would be like 4.0 party or something? Frankly, the parties are the only thing worth a good goddamn at Mozilla any more. They should stick to what they're good at -- throwing big-ass parties -- and quit fucking around with this browser thing. It's going nowhere, nobody likes it, it looks like shite, and it doesn't work. Make parties instead! is my suggestion. Get out of the browser business.

OK, actually, the latest Mozilla builds have been pretty dead-on. I can quibble with a lot of stuff -- like, say, the XFPE, which is completely retarded and broken, the world's biggest waste of time and effort -- but the thing seems to work pretty OK. However, there are some cool Mozillur derivatives, expecially Skipstone and Galeon, which use the Mozillur rendering engine, Geckur, without the retarded XML UI. Man, I'm sure an XML UI seemed like a really good idea in 1998, but we all now know that XML is dumb and useless. XML UI! It is to laugh! How about a CICS UI instead? HAW!

Actually, I've probably just lowered my standards to meet Mozilla's current ability, which if you think about it, is pretty fucking sad. I mean, I never have had that much respect for browser implementations to begin with, so lowering my already dismissive standards is just pathetic. So, but, like, Mozilla is seriously stuck in the mud, everybody hates Mozillur and picks on them and calls them shitheels. But that is NO REASON to abandon their CORE COMPETENCY, which is throwing a damn good party. If they think morale is bad with the current state of affairs, what do they think is going to happen when there ain't no Mozillur Dot Party anymore? What kind of message does that send? "We used to be all excited, now we're hopeless losers trudging in a death march towards a 1.0 release no one is ever going to use"? Who wants to hear that?

Have a party, Mozillur people! Keerist! Quit feeling sorry for yourselves, ya pansies, and let's set this house on fire.

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dunsmuir@pigdog.org