Haha! Man, the MPAA must hire the dumbest thugs in the world -- off the back of the reject truck at the thug meat factory or something. How could they be such dumbclucks, man? Har!

So, longtime Pigdog Journal readers will probably remember the Cascading Style Sheets tool that was released in February 2000. This tool, DeCSS, is used to remove CSS style sheet instructions from HTML tools. It's proven really useful for people who hate sheets in general and style in particular.

Anyhow, the tool has been mirrored far and wide on many different Web sites, including the one linked below. But today I got a message from the site's owner, Collin:

Thought you might like to know that I received a letter from the MPAA about hosting your version of DeCSS at my website. In addition, my ISP (which happens to be my high school) got all up in arms about it, threatened to take my account away, my website down and dump hot oil all over me. While I'm sure that once they realize I didn't do anything wrong nothing will happen, I thought it might amuse you. The fact that the MPAA didn't even check to see what was being hosted is quite funny in my opinion.

Man! I mean, BEAUJOLAIS to Collin, who's standing up for what's right and doing the right thing. But what kind of buttheads have they got working at the MPAA? Cripes! I mean, here's an excerpt of the letter that Collin forwarded:

>>We have received information that the above referenced Internet site is providing a circumvention device commonly known as DeCSS. DeCSS is a software utility that decrypts or unscrambles the contents of DVDs (consisting of copyrighted motion pictures) or otherwise circumvents the protection afforded by the Contents Scramble System (CSS) and permits the copying of the DVD contents and/or any portion thereof. As such, DeCSS is an unlawful circumvention device within the meaning of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, Title 17 United States Code Section 1201(a)(2)(3). Providing or offering DeCSS to the public on your system or network violates the provisions of Section 1201(a)(2) [gar gar gar] [...]

We therefore demand that you take appropriate steps to cause the immediate removal of DeCSS from the above identified Internet site, along with such other actions as may be necessary or appropriate to suspend this illegal activity. [...]

Also pursuant to DMCA, we hereby state, under penalty of perjury under the law of California and under the laws of the United States, that the information in this notification is accurate and that we are authorized to act on behalf of the owners of the exclusive rights being infringed as set forth in this notification.

I can't believe it, man! Not only are they nailing Collin for a CRIME he did not COMMIT, but they openly say in their letter that they are under penalty of perjury if they get things wrong. Now, if you were under PENALTY of PERJURY, wouldn't you take a little time and just make sure you had your facts straight?

What happens now to these creeps? Are they going to do some jail time for their perjuring ways? Is there a frivolous action lawsuit on the way? Who the hell knows? All I know is that Collin's had to remove the DeCSS image and link while his school investigates the problem. HELL, seems like a NO-BRAINER to me. I'd be billing the MPAA for my costs if those guys came after me. Screw this shit!

My main question is: how did the MPAA end up getting such LOW GRADE HENCHMEN, who go around openly perjuring themselves with nary a thought about it? I thought they were the guys with the MONEY in this fight -- why can't they afford qualified help?

Way back in February I offered to help any goon working for the MPAA quit their job as a digital snitch and go straight. Hell, the economy may be in the shitcan, but even the marginally competent can still get good money in the tech field. I have to re-iterate the offer, especially considering how helpless these MPAA hired guns are. They're obviously no good at their current job, and if they keep it up they might be going to jail. Hell, it sounds like time for a career change, fellas. Just drop me a line and I'll try and hook you up with some interviews.

Meanwhile, let's all give the Software Jihad salute to Collin, who's out on the line keeping it real. Check out his fine Austin Powers Web site, and give the man some props. Up the Jihad!

Check it out yourself

oarsman@pigdog.org