Juggler Vain Reviews SW1: The Phantom Menace
1999-05-23 14:21:55

Slitting Your Juggler
Journalism is fun. There's a lot of drinking involved.
-- Baron Earl


The inimitable Juggler Vain meets the immovable George Lucas.

Force is bad. "The Force" is good.

The "Chosen One" will bring Balance to The Force. Darth Vader -- Jedi Apprentice to Obi-Wan -- is that chosen one.

I remember when Bad Vibes descended onto the second installment of Back to the Future. Because of the sleaze...

... Darth Vader was conceived by an immaculately focussed intensity of The Force expressed by a mitochondrian analogue... which mitochondria-like presence in all (?sentient) life animates the corpus...

... may be Lucas's shield against blasphemy might be a Roman legend of just sufficiently prechristian antiquity to lever even against Jesus' divinity.

May be, too, that the planet of death and betrayal just happens to sound like "Navoo"...

... where a Dreamer died; and his successor commenced to sculpt a cult of peculiar and independent saints into The Most Patriotic Church in America.

And then there're Pirate Capitalists who sound really, ahhh... Chinese, actually.

But the nascent Emperor -- whom the very Queen of Naboo catapults into power -- talks like an Englander.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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