Build Date: Tue May 12 23:20:05 2026 UTC
I wish I had a chicken here right now so I could pull the head off as an object lesson to his evil little chicken friends. Fuckers.
-- Lenny the Nice
Apple Will Reveal Cool, iMac-like Laptop!
1999-07-15 18:07:15
Steve Jobs will show off a new CRAZY LOOKING laptop at the MacWorld convention in New York next week, aimed at students, home users, and cheapskates. The new portable has a massively reengineered architecture and a wacky new case.
The new machine is designed to provide most of what you get with a PowerBook, but be more durable, and less expensive. Most likely, it will have a 300MHz (or faster) G3 processor, 32 megs of RAM, a 12" passive matrix screen, and a shitty IDE hard drive.
However, the laptop's motherboard will be cutting edge. Almost all of the components, except CPU, will be on one chip. The new all-in-one architecture and low power screen should add up to long battery life. Because there wont be as many components to get broken, the machine should be able to withstand heavier abuse.
Most importantly, Pigdog has learned -- well, we have it on good rumor -- that the CASE for the new machine will be extremely curvy, and made from translucent, colorful plastic, ala the iMac!
It is not known whether it will come in fruit-inspired fashion colors. But if its path is similar to that of the the iMac, Apple will release it in blue first, and follow up with other fruity colors later.
The new machines should be on the market in time for this year's Christmas season.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)
I mixed up this concoction a few weeks ago and can't get it out of my mind. It's green and sweet and delicious and looks great in a clear sports bottle, which won't spill when you pass out on the lawn after drinking the entire bottle through a Crazystraw. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)