Imagine humping 25 miles a day and then having
to violently fling yourself into an enemy foxhole or tunnel,
wildly stabbing everyone you encounter with your steely
bayonet. Imagine doing that every single day for a
week--without showering, without changing your clothes.
Imagine that you are Canadian, and you have huge tits!
In preparation for its ultimate conflict with
the United States, Canadia is re-outfitting its troops. The
old colonial-era red coats and "Mounty" uniforms are being
updated, and now that women have been heavily recruited into
the Canadian armed forces a more rugged alternative to the
standard-issue, socialized-civilian brassier is required.
The new Canadian "bullet bras" will keep each
breast pointed out to left and right sides, respectively, in
order to keep chaffing down to a minimum during frenzied
hand-to-hand combat situations and extended marches. Instead
of usual thin straps that tend to cut into the shoulder
blades under heavy stress, the new Canadian military bras
will have the same straps that are used for hand-loading
AIM-54 missiles onto F16 fighter jets.