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Pigdog Journal Second Annual Christmas Essay Contest
1999-12-22 00:57:06

Sappy Christmas Shit
Any kid that isn't smart enough to disable Cybersitter doesn't deserve to get porn.
-- enigma


Hooray! It's that time of year again! The Season of Caring and Sharing! When all the people of the world come together in the Joy of the Season! And Pigdog Journal is so full of MAUDLIN COMMERCIALLY-MANUFACTURED EMOTION and SAPPY SACCHARINE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT that we're having YET ANOTHER Christmas Essay Contest!

Last year's Christmas Essay Contest was a resounding success! You can read the winning Essay, "A Clone's Christmas in Guelph," by clicking the link at the bottom of this page. We also had a super-fantastic runner-up story-essay called "Pagan Christmas". Which you can also go read! MAN, isn't the Web FUCKING FANTASTIC?!

Anyways, this year a BRAND NEW contest is in swing! It's called "the Second Annual Pigdog Christmas Essay Contest," for reasons that should be obvious to even the most casual observer. And YOU can be part of it! All you have to do is write an essay on the following topic:

A Cryogenicist's First Christmas at the Head Freezin' Lab


"Do They Know It's Christmastime At All?"

Then, send the essay to the Pigdog Journal Editors [plain ascii only, please]. We'll review all the entries and choose a winner by Santa Day. Whoopee! But the fun doesn't end there! If you are the winner, you will receive the following fabulous prizes:

  • Publication of your essay on the front page of Pigdog Journal, The Online Handbook of Bad People of the Future
  • A commemorative Pigdog Journal refrigerator magnet
  • A 4-pack of Guinness sent to your home or business!
  • A secret magical surprise!

So get out those pens and pencils and START WRITING! Submit EARLY and submit OFTEN, because Christmas comes but once a year. Yippity-fuck! Let's make a magazine!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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