Build Date: Wed Apr 2 10:31:04 2025 UTC
I don't really think I would enjoy puking up raw tuna -- I'm just exaggerting for comic effect.
-- Daisy
Kim Rollins is (not) getting married!
2006-07-22 19:03:59
If you accidentally typed "Kim Rollins" into Google, you'd find an Amazon web page which now includes "Kim and George's wedding registry!"
The pioneering blogger (and amateur legal enthusiast) has an Amazon profile which appears to spill the beans with a cheerful wedding registry. The happy couple will be married on Kim's birthday in August, the page tells us, along with the fact that George's last name is Clooney. They've registered for a DVD of Solaris, and...
...er, perhaps we should've read the "About the Couple" paragraph first. "This is a fake registry to help test a new feature on Amazon Wedding," Kim writes.
"I disclaim that I do not actually know George Clooney, and that if he were ever to find out that I did such a thing, he would be utterly appalled and slap me with a no-contact order so fast it would make my head spin."
Oh.
Well, since we're here, we may as well round-up the lesser Kim Rollins news. Um, her Amazon wish list now includes the literary classic Stupid Sock Creatures: Making Quirky, Lovable Figures from Cast-off Socks. Uh, Kim also wrote an article about Urban Outfitters last year for some kind of web site about Seattle, but it was too long to actually read. And she occassionally writes book reviews for MSNBC. Oh, and Kim's favorite episode of Friends is "The One With Five Steaks and an Eggplant."
But I want to believe that once in a blue moon, she checks in on the web-log of her former paramour, Wil Shipley. It's tagline?
"I write software. I'm obsessive-compulsive. I like good stuff. Kittens are fuzzy."
Seattle is, apparently, not as exciting as we'd imagined.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)