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Your atomic vector plotter seem to have ran out of strong Darjeeling, and starts picking up crosstalk from alternative reality branches.
-- Head Freezin' Gene

Shipley Confronts 'Little Her', Remembers Obsessive Behavior

by El Destino

1998-11-23 14:00:00

Sunday Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley confronted the turbulent aftermath of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim Rollins by facing the legacy of the "little piece of her inside me."

"Even when I was alone, if I were laughing at something, it'd be with this little her. If I bought something, I'd ask the little her what she thought of it.

"If I made a decision, I consulted the little her first."

Shipley found that after Rollins left him for another man, this interior landscape become problematic. "I still have this little her inside me, except it won't talk to me any more."

Shipley's on-line journal documents other philosophical dilemmas as well. "It's not wrong to like curtains because they make your partner happy, right? But, then, when she leaves, why do you like them?" This complicates Shipley's plans to decorate his house. "I thought maybe I'd do that in the next couple months, after just getting out of bed is no longer such a burden."

"But I don't even know what kind of curtains I like."

Exorcizing the mini-Rollins creates more philosophical issues, as Shipley -- a Star Wars fan -- explains that forces like hate never really work. "It's the path to the dark side." Confronting the remaining inner "doppelganger" is essential -- but until then, he's apparently resigned himself to accommodating this internalized former-girlfriend. "I tried to buy a clock radio today, or even just a clock, to replace the one she took with her. I made it all the way to Magnolia Hi-Fi, even. But she didn't see any she liked, so I went home empty-handed."

Today's entry marks an anniversary of their nine-year relationship's ending. "She told me a week ago now. Almost to the minute." Shipley recalls the ways he'd tried to compliment Rollins' attributes -- "every single day." He would describe, for example, how gorgeous Rollins was. "If you just say, 'You're gorgeous,' it's nice, but you stop hearing it after a while. So I'd describe how she was gorgeous. In precise terms. What made her the most gorgeous." Shipley applied the same thoroughness to Rollins's other traits -- systematically praising her intelligence, her sense of humor, her writing and her photography. "Sometimes I'd tell her how much I just liked being with her. Just liked talking to her."

Yesterday Shipley also confided his belief that he had an obsessive/compulsive disorder.

Shipley's post-relationship remembrances shed new light on their romance. "Sometimes it was shallow stuff. I'd talk about how I'd look at her, and she'd always be the most beautiful woman in the room, and everyone admired her, and I knew she was mine, and it made me feel so powerful, so valuable."

"We had a game we played, where I'd come up behind her when she was standing in front of the mirror, and I'd wrap my arms all the way around her tiny body, and I'd look at her reflection, and me holding her, and she was the most beautiful creature in the world, and I'd say, 'Mine'."

"And she'd look up at me in the mirror, and she'd hold my arms to her, and she'd say, 'Yours'."

Miss Rollins left Mr. Shipley one week ago for another man. "I didn't want to let anyone know how badly I wanted to escape until I was sure I could go through with it," Rollins posted last week.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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