Sunday Omni Development founder and president Wil Shipley
confronted the
turbulent aftermath of his break-up with net-celebrity Kim
Rollins by
facing the legacy of the "little piece of her inside me."
"Even when I was alone, if I were laughing at something, it'd be
with
this little her. If I bought something, I'd ask the little her
what she
thought of it.
"If I made a decision, I consulted the little her first."
Shipley found that after Rollins left him for another man, this
interior
landscape become problematic. "I still have this little her
inside me,
except it won't talk to me any more."
Shipley's on-line journal documents other philosophical dilemmas
as
well. "It's not wrong to like curtains because they make your
partner
happy, right? But, then, when she leaves, why do you like them?"
This
complicates Shipley's plans to decorate his house. "I thought
maybe I'd
do that in the next couple months, after just getting out of bed
is no
longer such a burden."
"But I don't even know what kind of curtains I like."
Exorcizing the mini-Rollins creates more philosophical issues, as
Shipley -- a Star Wars fan -- explains that forces like hate
never
really work. "It's the path to the dark side." Confronting the
remaining inner "doppelganger" is essential -- but until then,
he's
apparently resigned himself to accommodating this internalized
former-girlfriend. "I tried to buy a clock radio today, or even
just a
clock, to replace the one she took with her. I made it all the
way to
Magnolia Hi-Fi, even. But she didn't see any she liked, so I
went home
empty-handed."
Today's entry marks an anniversary of their nine-year
relationship's
ending. "She told me a week ago now. Almost to the minute."
Shipley
recalls the ways he'd tried to compliment Rollins' attributes --
"every
single day." He would describe, for example, how gorgeous
Rollins was.
"If you just say, 'You're gorgeous,' it's nice, but you stop
hearing it
after a while. So I'd describe how she was gorgeous. In precise
terms.
What made her the most gorgeous." Shipley applied the same
thoroughness
to Rollins's other traits -- systematically praising her
intelligence,
her sense of humor, her writing and her photography. "Sometimes
I'd
tell her how much I just liked being with her. Just liked talking
to
her."
Yesterday Shipley also confided his belief that he had an
obsessive/compulsive disorder.
Shipley's post-relationship remembrances shed new light on their
romance. "Sometimes it was shallow stuff. I'd talk about how I'd
look
at her, and she'd always be the most beautiful woman in the room,
and
everyone admired her, and I knew she was mine, and it made me
feel so
powerful, so valuable."
"We had a game we played, where I'd come up behind her when she
was
standing in front of the mirror, and I'd wrap my arms all the way
around
her tiny body, and I'd look at her reflection, and me holding
her, and
she was the most beautiful creature in the world, and I'd say,
'Mine'."
"And she'd look up at me in the mirror, and she'd hold my arms to
her,
and she'd say, 'Yours'."
Miss Rollins left Mr. Shipley one week ago for another man. "I
didn't
want to let anyone know how badly I wanted to escape until I was
sure I
could go through with it," Rollins posted last week.
