Burn them ALL! ALL of THEM!

     
 

All Good People Are Asleep And Dreaming
2000-02-08 13:04:12


What a Riot!
 
Zach is happy and Zach doesn't worry about Alabama schoolgirls. That is because Zach has a secret - he drinks a lot and never leaves the house.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

Firecracker-related fatalities are on the rise in China. People want to blow things up to celebrate the Lunar New Year, and don't give a rat's ass about the fact that it's illegal. The result: Dangerous, illegal fireworks in every home! It's Fatalitastic! What a ride! What a trip!

Now, I don't mean to mock the dead, especially not dozens of dead Chinese people, who may become hopping clawed vampires if mocked after death.

There's all kinds of terrible bad death at the hands of fire. Towns are burning because people were dumb with fireworks and other people were dumb with fireworks legislation. The laws are getting more restrictive, and nobody is actually really giving much of a shit about restrictive laws.

People may be able to tolerate Five Year Plans and the Cultural Revolution, but there's NO WAY they'll be willing to put up with people ruining their Holiday Spirit.

And isn't that what New Year's Day is all about?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

paco@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
by Flesh

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

More Quickies...