Build Date: Fri Jun 13 09:30:10 2025 UTC
I am against
R. U. Sirius. Did I say that already? Down with R. U. Sirius.
-- El Snatcher
No More Knees!
1999-12-02 10:14:58
The only things I like are paranoid sex and childish greed, so no one loves free trade more than I do. Nonetheless, I think I'm standing on the side of the Communist weirdos on this: the WTO is bad. The protests against them are good.
I believe that the best way to measure the effectiveness of a protest is by the crackdown on it.
My logic is thus:
A government is going to do cost-benefit analysis before making a decision. They're not going to change anything unless it's worth it. Big crackdowns are expensive. You have to pay the various pigs, and pay them extra for the unpleasantness of it. You have to shut down businesses. You'll probably have to pay legal fees later on. You have to pay for arrests, and jail time. You have to spend money to deal with the angry residents of the upper-middle-class neighborhood shouting at the police and National Guard troops to leave. In other words, unless you already have an active and constant protest-suppression team in constant effect, it costs a lot of money and time and headache.
So you'll only do it if the protest is going to cost you more if left unchecked.
(You, by the way, in this case, are the government. Hi government!)
So the crackdown on this protest is a BUG FUCKING crackdown. There's curfews. There's National Guard. They're arresting all kinds of people.
So why is this protest so unpleasant for the WTO?
A few reasons:
1. It calls attention to them. The WTO is a weird shadowy and non-democratic group. The United States press is also a weird, shadowy and non-democratic group, but in this case, the thing they do is POINT AT THE WTO AND INCREASE THE RISK OF LEGISLATIVE REFORM.
2. It annoys the delegates from other countries. Every delegate that walks in will be forced to notice, "Hey, a lot of people in the U.S. hate us." Some are bound to think, "Well, fuck the U.S., then." There's already angry trading partner things going on - an angry crowd outside just adds more tension to it. I mean, it's a hot sweltering summer day, tensions are high, and rioters are everywhere. When delegations turn ugly, the diplomats might just *snap*.
Okay, it's not a hot sweltering summer day in Seattle. But it's like 36 degrees in Melbourne. And that's fucking hot.
3. It puts pressure on the U.S. WTO people not to do unpopular things. Anyone who stands with the unpopular parts of the WTO will be associated with a Bad Thing, while others will have an opprtunity to be heroish.
4. It annoys the Secret Masters.
5. It's fun to fuck shit up. Driving up to Seattle to protest is kind of like a vacation, only you don't have to pay the tourist prices. Just smash and grab!
6. It delays the WTO meeting. The meeting is ending Friday. The opening got delayed due to protests and rioting. That gives them less time to scheme and smirk. Hell, if the WTO meeting can be made inconvenient enough, it may not be able to conclude its waxed-moustache-twirling, tying-a-lady-to-the-railroad- tracks, stapling-you-to-a-passing-automobile agenda.
So, everyone! Go there now! There's still a day left, and I personally promise that it will be JUST LIKE THE SIXTIES. Be a rioter! Sure you'll get beat up and arrested and tear gassed and eaten by dingoes, but THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)