Boy Howdy! That's some damn fine Pigdog!


No More Knees!
1999-12-02 10:14:58

What a Riot!
I hate the French! Give back our weirdo hillbilly television, you goddamn Frogs!
-- Tjames Madison


The only things I like are paranoid sex and childish greed, so no one loves free trade more than I do. Nonetheless, I think I'm standing on the side of the Communist weirdos on this: the WTO is bad. The protests against them are good.

I believe that the best way to measure the effectiveness of a protest is by the crackdown on it.

My logic is thus:

A government is going to do cost-benefit analysis before making a decision. They're not going to change anything unless it's worth it. Big crackdowns are expensive. You have to pay the various pigs, and pay them extra for the unpleasantness of it. You have to shut down businesses. You'll probably have to pay legal fees later on. You have to pay for arrests, and jail time. You have to spend money to deal with the angry residents of the upper-middle-class neighborhood shouting at the police and National Guard troops to leave. In other words, unless you already have an active and constant protest-suppression team in constant effect, it costs a lot of money and time and headache.

So you'll only do it if the protest is going to cost you more if left unchecked.

(You, by the way, in this case, are the government. Hi government!)

So the crackdown on this protest is a BUG FUCKING crackdown. There's curfews. There's National Guard. They're arresting all kinds of people.

So why is this protest so unpleasant for the WTO?

A few reasons:

1. It calls attention to them. The WTO is a weird shadowy and non-democratic group. The United States press is also a weird, shadowy and non-democratic group, but in this case, the thing they do is POINT AT THE WTO AND INCREASE THE RISK OF LEGISLATIVE REFORM.

2. It annoys the delegates from other countries. Every delegate that walks in will be forced to notice, "Hey, a lot of people in the U.S. hate us." Some are bound to think, "Well, fuck the U.S., then." There's already angry trading partner things going on - an angry crowd outside just adds more tension to it. I mean, it's a hot sweltering summer day, tensions are high, and rioters are everywhere. When delegations turn ugly, the diplomats might just *snap*.

Okay, it's not a hot sweltering summer day in Seattle. But it's like 36 degrees in Melbourne. And that's fucking hot.

3. It puts pressure on the U.S. WTO people not to do unpopular things. Anyone who stands with the unpopular parts of the WTO will be associated with a Bad Thing, while others will have an opprtunity to be heroish.

4. It annoys the Secret Masters.

5. It's fun to fuck shit up. Driving up to Seattle to protest is kind of like a vacation, only you don't have to pay the tourist prices. Just smash and grab!

6. It delays the WTO meeting. The meeting is ending Friday. The opening got delayed due to protests and rioting. That gives them less time to scheme and smirk. Hell, if the WTO meeting can be made inconvenient enough, it may not be able to conclude its waxed-moustache-twirling, tying-a-lady-to-the-railroad- tracks, stapling-you-to-a-passing-automobile agenda.

So, everyone! Go there now! There's still a day left, and I personally promise that it will be JUST LIKE THE SIXTIES. Be a rioter! Sure you'll get beat up and arrested and tear gassed and eaten by dingoes, but THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
by Flesh


Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley


El Destino

When Spock met PLATO


El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF


El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song


El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy


El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"


El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?


El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth


Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit


Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

More Quickies...