Build Date: Thu Sep 4 01:20:10 2025 UTC
I demand that a girl has brains before I fuck them out.
-- Paul Vortex
The WTO Protests are Decadent and Depraved
1999-12-01 01:49:34
Is it just me, or is it that BOTH the WTO and the chunderheads protesting against the WTO in Seattle are starting to look equally repellent?
Sure, the World Trade Organization is big-time Evil With Capital Letters and is probably doing voodoo on trees and Ammurican jobs even as we speak, BEHIND CLOSED DOORS and whatnot, but some of these protesters look like they would lose an argument with a ball-peen hammer or a variety of other simple household objects.
It's the "Fuck the issues, let's tear shit up" crowd out in force, and, as usual, they're being led by the usual suspects from the gleaming Baghdad by the Bay to the far south.
Like the damned witches, for instance. CNN reports "60 San Francisco-area witches" have made the trek to Seattle for the big marshmallow toast. "We are all connected to the earth and to each other, and we have a responsibility to have a healthy connection," said Marion Doub, one of the witches. She also said a bunch of other goopy, nonsensical Teshspew that isn't worth the effort to quote.
And like what seems to be about 90% of everybody else running amok in downtown Rain Central, she probably has absolutely no clue what she's doing there, except she'll get to chant and wave candles around. For others, the sheer joy of tossing a Molotov cocktail makes the occasion a festive one.
Three cheers for lockstep know-nothingism. Maybe the John Brown Anti-Clan League will show up and address the really important issues here.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
