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The October Suprise Revealed
2000-10-25 09:06:41


We're Professionals, Dammit!
 
If only Jake Busey knew how much we appreciated his art, I'm sure he'd drop everything and join us.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

We've waited on the edges of our seats for the so-called "October Suprise" to be revealed in this election year. What would it be? Where would it come from? Well, the waiting is finally over, and you won't believe what it is!

From their bunker in Kansas, notorious hate-mongers Fred Phelps and his son (who are both so right wing that even the likes of Jerry Fallwell & Jesse Helms disavow them) publicly released photos and a story of Al Gore seeking their support.

According to Phelps, in 1988, Gore visited the Westboro Baptist Church, preaching a message of anti-gay and anti-abortion stances. "He sounded like an old Southern Baptist preacher" Phelps is quoted as saying.

But this story doesn't end here. You see, it's one thing for an ultra- rightwing hate group (with ties to various racist groups) to say that a presidential contender wooed them years ago, but it's a totally different ballgame when there's photographic proof. The only way for Gore to undo the damage done by these photos, would be to unearth a video of Bush dressed in Klan robes raping an underaged girl at gunpoint as he snorts cocaine off his wife's ass. And the chances of that happening are null & void. Anything like that was most likely destroyed years ago when Bush Senior was Commander in Chief.

At the time of this writing, this news hasn't hit the mainstream press (hell, even Matt "The Hack" Drudge" hasn't figured it out) - but the clock is ticking.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

szithead@pigdog.org


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