Build Date: Thu Jun 12 10:50:18 2025 UTC
I imagine I can last until the absinthe runs out; then, I'm afraid, I'll have to work.
-- HST
The October Suprise Revealed
2000-10-25 09:06:41
We've waited on the edges of our seats for the so-called "October Suprise" to be revealed in this election year. What would it be? Where would it come from? Well, the waiting is finally over, and you won't believe what it is!
From their bunker in Kansas, notorious hate-mongers Fred Phelps and his son (who are both so right wing that even the likes of Jerry Fallwell & Jesse Helms disavow them) publicly released photos and a story of Al Gore seeking their support.
According to Phelps, in 1988, Gore visited the Westboro Baptist Church, preaching a message of anti-gay and anti-abortion stances. "He sounded like an old Southern Baptist preacher" Phelps is quoted as saying.
But this story doesn't end here. You see, it's one thing for an ultra- rightwing hate group (with ties to various racist groups) to say that a presidential contender wooed them years ago, but it's a totally different ballgame when there's photographic proof. The only way for Gore to undo the damage done by these photos, would be to unearth a video of Bush dressed in Klan robes raping an underaged girl at gunpoint as he snorts cocaine off his wife's ass. And the chances of that happening are null & void. Anything like that was most likely destroyed years ago when Bush Senior was Commander in Chief.
At the time of this writing, this news hasn't hit the mainstream press (hell, even Matt "The Hack" Drudge" hasn't figured it out) - but the clock is ticking.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)