Build Date: Wed Sep 3 05:20:20 2025 UTC
Ah, looks like it's about time to turn human misery into fat piles of cash.
-- S. Dallas, Esq.
Bin Laden Hybrid SUV
2005-06-21 17:28:55
Car technology reaches a new height with the introduction of the fuel efficient, two-seater, Bin Laden Hybrid SUV.
Bin Laden - the accidental hero of hybrid vehicles.
The new Bin Laden hybrid SUV - the dream of a nation hell bent on oil drilling. Standard features include: Impact-Absorbing Daisy-Cutter Resistant Armor Plating, Satellite-Rejecting Black-Tinted Glass, Roof-Mounted Kalashnikovs, Remote Laser Detection System, Sprewells, Driver's and Front Passenger Side RPGs, Automatic Climate Control with Nerve Gas Filtration System, Betamax Video Production System, PGP Encrypted Short Wave Radio, and much more to choose from.
Why waste fuel in the middle of nowhere when you can hide in comfort from sophisticated intelligence operations in your new Bin Laden Hybrid SUV? Every model includes side-door essentials bins containing everything you need: pilot licenses, thermite, Pakistani subterreanean maps, skittles, even $5,000,000,000 in American debt!
Act now and you can take advantange of a low percentage finance program that gives you access to automatic weapons, insurgents, CIA intelligence briefings, and much much more.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)