Build Date: Wed Feb 21 15:41:52 2024 UTC

I quit drinking, and then I lost my car, and my house, my girlfriend and my job and my self respect. Now I'm homeless, unemployed, riding public transpo, broke, unloved and suicidally depressed, but you know what? today I don't have to drink.
-- Splicer

Bin Laden Hybrid SUV

by Pao Tzu

2005-06-21 17:28:55

Car technology reaches a new height with the introduction of the fuel efficient, two-seater, Bin Laden Hybrid SUV.

Bin Laden - the accidental hero of hybrid vehicles.

The new Bin Laden hybrid SUV - the dream of a nation hell bent on oil drilling. Standard features include: Impact-Absorbing Daisy-Cutter Resistant Armor Plating, Satellite-Rejecting Black-Tinted Glass, Roof-Mounted Kalashnikovs, Remote Laser Detection System, Sprewells, Driver's and Front Passenger Side RPGs, Automatic Climate Control with Nerve Gas Filtration System, Betamax Video Production System, PGP Encrypted Short Wave Radio, and much more to choose from.

Why waste fuel in the middle of nowhere when you can hide in comfort from sophisticated intelligence operations in your new Bin Laden Hybrid SUV? Every model includes side-door essentials bins containing everything you need: pilot licenses, thermite, Pakistani subterreanean maps, skittles, even $5,000,000,000 in American debt!

Act now and you can take advantange of a low percentage finance program that gives you access to automatic weapons, insurgents, CIA intelligence briefings, and much much more.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

T O P   S T O R I E S

GNUPG! You need to get some ENCRYPTION, BUB.

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