Gangster Linux
2001-03-05 14:04:38
Picture a world in which criminals utilized powerful cryptography to do their everyday business... wouldn't that next ounce be cheaper? How about your RAM?
I always envisioned linux, PGP, and cheap used hardware as the ultimate future of contraband sales networks. When PGPFone came out, I thought the technology was finally in reach, but then Phil Zimmerman turned into a Windows corporate suit after talking to congress.
So anyway, I still have this concept of the cellular PGP message machine: crypto drug dealer voice mail system. It would make it easier for fellow criminals to do business - especially money laundering, drug trafficking, and car theft - in an organized, efficient, and secure manner. Take for example the situation with car theft. Anyone who has lived in the Bay Area, N.Y., or L.A... or even have played GTA 1/2... knows that organized car theft is easier when in proximity to a intense maritime economy. Cars can be stolen, altered, and sent abroad to other gangster countries like Turkey and Russia.
There is an organization in Vallejo which specializes in creating new stolen car depots throughout the area. To receive new information on the whereabouts of such a warehouse, one has to mail correspondence to an ever changing address which is only available by word of mouth. What if word of mouth could be converted into a PGP key? This would allow the techno-savvy gangster to plug their victim's cellular phone right into their laptop, dial the net, and receive the latest information on where to drop the car for a grand before the alarm has even stopped sounding.
Police surveillance, especially with the recent advent of infrared mono/binoculars, makes it very difficult for the little man to find a good location. It is often the case that rival gangs discover spots are being watched and fail to inform their rivals because they don't want to talk to them. As a result, affiliated gangs also fail to communicate, often resulting in the loss of a large drug front, usually to the tune of 1-2 kilos. With the gangster linux cellular messaging center, each gang can exchange cryptography keys to ensure that this kind of miscommunication does not take place and without fear of interset communication.
Larger criminal organizations, like the marijuana grower cartels in Humboldt, Trinity, Mendocino, Del Norte, and Klamath, often fail to adequately communicate information about chopper surveillance in much the same fashion as petty heroin and crack dealers. The breakdown occurs because of the lack of secure communication channels. Information about the movement of police convoys is sometimes relayed over shortwave radio, but often the information is unreliable and possibly fake. To authenticate the true drug cartel involvement, a crypto key exchange system could be put into place in the form of a gangster linux cellular message center server. The server could inform growers not only of chopper movement, but of potential greyhound/amtrak/trailways riders trusted to smuggle finished products... right while they are still on the airplane.

T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)