Build Date: Thu May 1 02:10:43 2025 UTC
I wish you were a Pez dispenser so I could eat candy out of your neck.
-- Gar's Sister
KDE 2
2000-11-03 00:27:41
KDE 2 has been released. Go to kde.org right now.
The much anticipated release of KDE version 2.0 is finally here. We can all rejoice and forget about trying to cope with the fucked up way Gnome scrolls between desktops when you move the mouse around. Even more spectacular are the fancy ass graphics. No longer can spacey Windows (as well as whiney little Mac) users feel confident in the aesthetics of their window manager. KDE 2 has graduated to glowing gradients, beautiful bevels, and state of the art stipling. This is the kind of desktop environment that will make a straight man want to decorate his living room, a goth want to wear fuschia, and a gutter punk want to colorize their safety pins. The "tip of the day" isn't even annoying. It features a kharacter from Ktolkien's Klord of the Krings as the overseer of higher knowledge which will make even the fussiest of point and clickers never touch the checkbox to disable it. The help files are complete and come in all sorts of languages, even esperanto. In fact, the user can set all the menus to run in esperanto, falling back on another popular technical language such as turkish or czech if the appropriate translation is not available for Gnulactic Konquest. KDE Toys have been enhanced with The Tea Cooker and AMOR (amusing misuse of resources). The tea cooker is a program which will remind the user when their tea, be it earl grey, fruit, or some user defined (i.e. psilocybe) tea is finished brewing. AMOR, or as I coined during my last acid trip, pacman on crack, is a friendly looking smiley face which does various annoying human-like gestures on the window titlebars giving a personal touch to the desktop. Other features include a full office suite so that you can produce microsoftish documents suitable to photocopy a hundred times over, DivX and MPEG 4 support to watch illegal pirated movies before they reach the video store, and an improved Korganizer scheduler to remind the user of their monthly genital washing and armpit deodorizing before their usual fourteen hour daily coding session. All in all, KDE 2 is less hassle to compile than slitting a Garcia y Vegas cigar with a key, filling the empty wrapper with finely ground buds, gnawing on one side of the tobacco to create a jagged edge, and then slobbering all over both faces of this edge to force the tobacco wrapper to adhere to itself through jagged slobbery self-adherence.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
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War on Terror produces excess inventory of doomsday ready laptops
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
