Build Date: Thu Nov 27 23:10:14 2025 UTC
Everyone knows the DEA has the best Christmas office parties...
-- Geoff We@sel
KDE 2
2000-11-03 00:27:41
KDE 2 has been released. Go to kde.org right now.
The much anticipated release of KDE version 2.0 is finally here. We can all rejoice and forget about trying to cope with the fucked up way Gnome scrolls between desktops when you move the mouse around. Even more spectacular are the fancy ass graphics. No longer can spacey Windows (as well as whiney little Mac) users feel confident in the aesthetics of their window manager. KDE 2 has graduated to glowing gradients, beautiful bevels, and state of the art stipling. This is the kind of desktop environment that will make a straight man want to decorate his living room, a goth want to wear fuschia, and a gutter punk want to colorize their safety pins. The "tip of the day" isn't even annoying. It features a kharacter from Ktolkien's Klord of the Krings as the overseer of higher knowledge which will make even the fussiest of point and clickers never touch the checkbox to disable it. The help files are complete and come in all sorts of languages, even esperanto. In fact, the user can set all the menus to run in esperanto, falling back on another popular technical language such as turkish or czech if the appropriate translation is not available for Gnulactic Konquest. KDE Toys have been enhanced with The Tea Cooker and AMOR (amusing misuse of resources). The tea cooker is a program which will remind the user when their tea, be it earl grey, fruit, or some user defined (i.e. psilocybe) tea is finished brewing. AMOR, or as I coined during my last acid trip, pacman on crack, is a friendly looking smiley face which does various annoying human-like gestures on the window titlebars giving a personal touch to the desktop. Other features include a full office suite so that you can produce microsoftish documents suitable to photocopy a hundred times over, DivX and MPEG 4 support to watch illegal pirated movies before they reach the video store, and an improved Korganizer scheduler to remind the user of their monthly genital washing and armpit deodorizing before their usual fourteen hour daily coding session. All in all, KDE 2 is less hassle to compile than slitting a Garcia y Vegas cigar with a key, filling the empty wrapper with finely ground buds, gnawing on one side of the tobacco to create a jagged edge, and then slobbering all over both faces of this edge to force the tobacco wrapper to adhere to itself through jagged slobbery self-adherence.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
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The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
