Build Date: Fri Feb 14 11:40:10 2025 UTC
I've left enough things hanging that they can't afford to fire me.
-- Mr. Bad
More Free Publicity From Pigdog!
1999-08-21 01:11:31
Oh look, we're doing it again: we're making some other guys famous. Why do we do it? I don't know. Perhaps we're crazy.
This time out, it's Planet Soma, one man's personal rage against the machine; a very literate wind blows out of this planet, however, and as you watch David's spleen explode in slow motion through the pages of his highly personal journal, you also get treated to a really beautifully designed site. There's a really austere, simplified design ethic going on here, so even when I'm reading along thinking "Just shut up about hating the yuppies already, Dave," I'm already sedated by the blissful absence of bad web design and flashing geegaws and so I'm unable to yell at my monitor like I normally do.
This is a good thing, I'm thinking: more people need to have sites about things that really make their butt itch than sites about things they like, like Pokemon or Gino Vanelli. I mean, you can talk a lot about Gino Vanelli, but you can't make me drink. No way. Don't tell me what's good, dammit, tell me what makes you want to drive six-inch metal spikes through your eyes! So good job, Dave! You really hate a lot of stuff!
You should discover pretty quickly that the author of this site is a gay man, mostly because most other gay people seem to horrify and annoy him, along with all other sorts of people. I mean, it's not like he starts singing show tunes or anything. Also there is icky sex stuff all over the place here. It's not any ickier than, say, Getting It's icky sex stuff (and actually significantly less icky that that example, because at least here you don't have to ever think that R.U. Sirius might be doing naked stuff,) but it's sort of surprising when you encounter it, because you've been lulled into a sense of complacency by the competent design work.
But icky sex stuff and pictures of dangly bits aside, this site is a really good, long read. And realize when I'm saying this that I am the sort of person who would normally rather shave my tongue than read another goddam, fucking web journal. Planet Soma defeats the law of absolutes that says that all these journals must absolutely suck by virtue of being nasty and sort of unhinged, and also because it seems to contain the recognition that those kinds of things suck, too, so why not SHIT on the MEDIUM? I am here to say, then, that David Gwynn takes large dumps.
Take a look for yourself. Dave really sounds like he'd make a good Pigdogger, dontcha think? He smokes too much, drinks too much, and complains about everything. That's pretty much our application form, right there. Go Dave.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)