Build Date: Mon Oct 13 13:10:08 2025 UTC
I no longer have a soul, having bartered it long ago for dashing good looks and a handful of super-powers.
-- Lenny Tuberose
Naked Tarzan Spurs Orthodox Anger
1999-08-16 12:58:30
In the latest twist on the ages-old "Art? Or Unsightly Naughty Bulge?" debate, Orthodox Jews in Israel have joined the long list of groups who are really angry about stuff that Disney does.
Rabbis in Israel are complaining that publicity posters for the latest Disney animated feature, "Tarzan," which features a semi-clad Tarzan swinging through the jungle on vines, are obscene and should be banned from public view.
Strangely enough, the BBC, who first reported this story, couldn't find an actual Rabbi who was willing to go on the record about the controversy, nor was there an official group involved or anything like that, but as the news service mentions in a sidebar to the article, every time in the past Disney has come under fire from religious groups (most notably regarding the films "The Little Mermaid," which supposedly portrayed a minister sprouting a woody, and "Alladin," which supposedly included a sekrit message from Robin Williams exhorting teenagers to have big sloppy sex) sales and box-office receipts of their products have gone way up.
I mean, if you're going to really be angry about obscenity in Disney films, how about portraying a 12-year-old Pocahontas as a big-breasted wood nymph who has sex with the first White Man she sees? And how come nobody ever gets mad about Robin Williams' flimsily concealed drug flick "Flubber"? Huh? Eh?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
