Build Date: Thu May 1 00:30:31 2025 UTC
Just to recap: Hacking mainframes => Good. Hacking children's heads off =>
Bad.
-- Negative Nancy
R. U. Sirius Debuts New Wrestling Magazine
1999-07-28 05:07:03
Actually, it's not ALL about wrestling, there are also tons of raunchy sex articles, which is exactly what you might expect from something entitled, "Gettingit."
After you are done reading about Jessie Ventura, Andy Kaufman, "Incredibly Strange Wrestling," and "Flesh on the Ropes," get a load of "Boys Bending Over," "She's Naked," and "Pregnant Nymphos."
Famous reality phreaker, R. U. Sirius, has purchased himself a copy of the FutureTense Internet Publishing System, the same richy-rich software that brings you the New York Times, Newsweek, and Netscape Netcenter. He also has hired up a gaggle of miscreant net freelancers, bad English people, and naughty sex writers, to run the whole thing and write articles with sensational TITLES... titles that are guaranteed to get tons of search engine hits, but don't necessarily deliver the goods. That is, if you're a porn addict, or Wrestlemania fan. However, Gettingit does have some pretty good writing about weird pop culture stuff, net flotsam, and real gross sex.
We sent Gettingit down to decoding, and their analysis shows that the Gettingit style looks like someone took HotWired, Salon, The Onion, and Suck, crumpled them all into a ball, and smacked them against the wall a bunch of times, and then plopped down on top what may be the ugliest navigation bar of all time. Maybe it would have been better if R. U. has decided to go with the SUPER EVIL TABLOID web layout envisioned in the illustration for his editorial, " Journalism is Dead, Long Live Journalism," which seems to be the philosophical scaffolding that Gettingit sits upon.
R. U. is right, though. People ARE turning to alternative news sources more and more, and sensationalism IS GOOD. Everyone just reads the Sunday paper for the Target ads anyway. Not only do CRAZY sources on the net have better stories, but sometimes those stories are even TRUE. The now defunct zine, Tabloid, had it right, you can be informed and entertained at the same time.
But for sensational journalism to be RIGHT, and GOOD with the LAND, it must be unrelenting, lean, and powerful. Like Tabloid was.
As R. U. says, "....may the best tabloid version of reality reign supreme." We'll see if Gettingit lives up to that ideal.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)