Build Date: Fri Feb 13 04:40:06 2026 UTC
Zach is happy and Zach doesn't worry about Alabama schoolgirls. That is because Zach has a secret - he drinks a lot and never leaves the house.
-- Johnnie Royale
Summer Relief From Itching Clown Syndrome
1999-07-21 13:55:50
Do you hate clowns? Good, you're normal; clowns are evil and they're only trying to cause trouble.
Just look at them: flaming red hair, big, bulbous nose, hugely oversized feet. TINY CARS. In a different era, people called clowns "trolls" and told their children to stay away from the areas under bridges where they lived, lest they be snatched and eaten whole, like a ripe grape. Clowns are up to no good.
So now you can let everybody know you're hip to the clown conspiracy. This place offers a free "ihateclowns.com" email account to "people who are afraid of or just plain hate evil clowns." The "evil" part is redundant. Show me a good clown. Just find one.
Anyway, you can also buy books and records and movies about clowns through this site, so you know what the enemy looks like, as well as t-shirts to promote this crucially important cause.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
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Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
