Build Date: Thu May 1 02:30:40 2025 UTC
Isn't it wonderful that, despite our differences, we're united in our mutual love of beer?
-- Mr. Bad
Stop the Decade, I Want to Get Off
1999-07-16 11:35:42
Man, I just don't know what to say. The megalomaniacs of the Dumb-Down Bundt have declared this "The Slashdot Decade." Christ!
Talk about your delusions of grandeur. Can you believe it? "The Slashdot Decade!" Dream on, kiddos.
Just imagine TEN MORE YEARS of UNENDING BLATHER from the dolts and bugheads that make up the commercially-owned community known as "/.". Gar! The world's largest SUB-MORON BRAIN FARM, blumbering along for another decade. LEADING another decade. Saints preserve us!
What's with this, anyways? Talk about a severely overhyped site. Who on this PLANET came up with the idea that Slashdot.org is some kind of HOLY PEYOTE vision from THE INTERNET COYOTE GOD? Anyone in the world who thinks that Slashdot is some kind of META-FANTASTICAL INFORMATION ENEMA PLATFORM for the FUTURE probably haven't spent a lot of time there.
I mean, FUCK, what *IS* the Slashdot paradigm, anyways? 10% one-sentence pointers to off-site content, 10% crybaby and suspiciously ad-like essays by Jon Katz, and the other 80% the drooling gabber of thousands of Internet newbies re-hashing the same arguments that have been raging on Usenet since 1985. Yippity FUCK, let's have a SLASHDOT PARADE.
My temples are throbbing just from thinking about this idea. If this is the Slashdot Decade, I'm just gonna SKIP it. Wake me up in 2011, please.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
