The old (on- and off-net) flame goes, "You've got too much time on
your hands," but hardly anyone ever examines the diametric here: if people
didn't have the time to build lavish, lovingly intricate web sites
full of Star Wars bulldata concerning technology that only exists
in a cheesy movie and seems as real to the creator as the specs of
the M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tank, then what else in the world could
these saps possibly be occupying their time with? Needlepoint?
Case in point: The Star Wars Technical Commentaries (see link below). Inside
these hallowed walls you will find gathered the world's collected archives of
masturbatory fanboy pseudo-techno esoterica. For instance, did you know that
the jump to hyperspace involves a brief but violent acceleration to high
relativistic speeds and then a leap beyond the lightspeed threshold by some
unknown mechanism? Or that inertial dampers linked to the hyperdrive system
must protect the ship, its crew and contents from feeling the effect of this
acceleration? Neither did I. I just thought it was a cool effect when I was
twelve years old.
I made a "Star Wars" ship in my closet in 1977. It consisted of an old vinyl
seat pulled out of a junked Chevy van, a flight stick made out of clothehangers
and a control panel assembled from Radio Shack LEDS and flip switches. When I
made the jump to hyperspace in my ship I would go "Whooooooooosh!"
The whole time I was doing this I was blissfully unaware of things like wake
rotation and causality paradoxes. But that's what Star Wars nerds are good for!
I didn't intend to single out Curtis Saxon, the creator of the aforementioned
site. I wasn't going to bitchslap him for taking the pure and simple fun out of
something that was never intended to be rocket science (and cannot stand on its
own merits as anything but eye candy, as it was produced mainly with a target
audience of early teens in mind and executed with a cloying sappiness that
pervades the series and ultimately results in mishaps like Ewoks). But he was
there, and I picked his site out at random from what seems like millions of
them. All cram packed with data about TIE fighters and Star Destroyers and
things like "Could the Death Star beat up the Borg?" and whatnot.
So if you're interested in this kind of shit, go check out his site. You can
probably find links there to all sorts of other sites where people take
themselves so seriously they'd make your average Trekkie blush. But whatever.
I'm not your dad.