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I Have Something To Tell You...
2002-06-28 20:05:25


Net Flotsam
 
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-- Kaiser Wilhelm

 

Picture this. You're in a Hallmark store, looking for exactly the right card to send to your mother. Nothing's working for you, and you're running out of options. Then you yank the last card out of the rack. On the front it's got a soft-focus photograph of two babies kissing a kitten, and there are also violets. You open it up.

To My Dearest Mother, it says. God bless the special and loving moments in our lives that I will forever cherish. You may not have noticed, but I am a faggy punk trannyboy.

See! That wouldn't work too well! And this is exactly why the world needs Trannyboy Greeting Cards.

This brilliant endeavor by "raysoltis at aol dot com and eliaspunch at yahoo dot com" is dedicated to providing high-quality, e-mailable greeting cards — suitable for occasions such as "Coming Out," "Using the Men's Room," or "Surgery" — free of charge.

The artwork ranges in emotional tenor from a darling, almost Peanuts-esque boi peeking down his pants, to a stark black-and-white rendition of a hand holding a syringe. Some carry text ("Can I still answer phones for the rape crisis hotline?") while some leave the images to speak for themselves. There is, for instance, a card especially for trannyboys who have been disowned by their families: it features simply a tousle-headed boy with a hobo's stick on his shoulder, and a deeply nuanced expression of unregretful sadness on his cute cartoon face.

The line-up will no doubt be expanded further as the Internet community takes advantage of this new resource. Me, I'm thinking Easter, Kwanzaa, Valentine's Days...

Because I care enough to send the very best.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

uzerboozer@pigdog.org


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