Build Date: Mon Jun 8 21:10:10 2026 UTC
Her skin was soft, like a decomposing body. I mean that in a good way.
-- El Destino
I Have Something To Tell You...
2002-06-28 20:05:25
Picture this. You're in a Hallmark store, looking for exactly the right card to send to your mother. Nothing's working for you, and you're running out of options. Then you yank the last card out of the rack. On the front it's got a soft-focus photograph of two babies kissing a kitten, and there are also violets. You open it up.
To My Dearest Mother, it says. God bless the special and loving moments in our lives that I will forever cherish. You may not have noticed, but I am a faggy punk trannyboy.
See! That wouldn't work too well! And this is exactly why the world needs Trannyboy Greeting Cards.
This brilliant endeavor by "raysoltis at aol dot com and eliaspunch at yahoo dot com" is dedicated to providing high-quality, e-mailable greeting cards — suitable for occasions such as "Coming Out," "Using the Men's Room," or "Surgery" — free of charge.
The artwork ranges in emotional tenor from a darling, almost Peanuts-esque boi peeking down his pants, to a stark black-and-white rendition of a hand holding a syringe. Some carry text ("Can I still answer phones for the rape crisis hotline?") while some leave the images to speak for themselves. There is, for instance, a card especially for trannyboys who have been disowned by their families: it features simply a tousle-headed boy with a hobo's stick on his shoulder, and a deeply nuanced expression of unregretful sadness on his cute cartoon face.
The line-up will no doubt be expanded further as the Internet community takes advantage of this new resource. Me, I'm thinking Easter, Kwanzaa, Valentine's Days...
Because I care enough to send the very best.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
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It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
The Cross Canadian Ragweed Red Dirt Roundup
Went to one of the only really enjoyable outdoor concerts I can remember (maybe I didn't enjoy it enough). The finest in dirty hillbilly music: The Cross Canadian Ragweed Red Dirt Roundup. For those ignorants, Cross Canadian Ragweed is a horrendous allergan in Texas, and it's also a band. In a great show of humility, CCR was the worst major act in their line up. Fortunately, they have talented friends. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
