I want to kill bugs, sir!

     
 

How Many Would it Take?
2002-04-06 21:26:56


Net Flotsam
 
One wonders how prior generations survived and flourished without the Internet and alt.binaries.clits.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

In a new twist on that now very ancient game of "Am I hot or not?", "How Many Would it Take?" trys to determine how many beers you would have to consume in order to find the person in the picture you are looking at hot.

An interesting question, I suppose, as we all know that the more beer one drinks the more likely they are to wake up wondering just who in the hell they are sleeping next too. Beer does that. Beer, after all, has been helping ugly people have sex since 1862.

So this site is an attempt to categorize people and determine just how many rounds they should expect to have to wait through in order to have a 50% chance of scoring with the average person.

And the results aren't pretty. The hottest girl on the site weights in at 6.4 beers. And the hottest guy, who admittedly needs a shave, clocks in at 14.3 beers. 14.3 beers!?!?! Fuckin' A. That would just about kill most of the beer drinking women I know, and I know some pretty good beer drinking women. (By which I mean they aren't necessarily good people, they are just good at drinking beer... in case you were confused.)

I'm not sure from an anthropological point of view what to exactly make of these numbers, but it doesn't seem good. If the hottest guy needs to pour on average 14.3 beers into the girl he is hitting on in order to have a decent chance to score, I think he should not only be carrying a condom in his wallet, but a stomach pump as well.

It is a wonder this species continues to propagate. Good thing there is no beer shortage.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

vagrant@pigdog.org


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