I know it's terribly outre to imply that the constitution and its amendments might actually mean what they say. I apologize. I'm just a simple man. -- P A U L
Spider-Man, Captain America, and BatGirl have something in common. They all fought crime
using delicious Hostess Fruit PiesŪ. Now SeanBaby.com has tracked down an executive at
D.C. Comics who worked on the notorious 70s junk food ad campaign.
This is the ultimate match-up. In one corner, an obsessive webmaster who displays 64 of
the Hostess comic book ads -- along
with scathing commentary from doppelgangers like Dr. Doom, Luke Cage, and Mr. Fish. ("I
hope the Mad Magician has a really good excuse for turning into a huge frog and keeping
people from eating Twinkies.... Shit, using a trick pack of gum to snap shut on your
friend's finger is a craftier plan than this.") You have to understand the depth of
SeanBaby's passion. Here's a man who compiled an exhaustive 70-part Masters Thesis about the Superfriends -- and then
annotated it with actual video clips from the show. ("After they brilliantly
discover that the Superman talking like a crappy robot is really a robot, he runs off.")
A man who once wrote that
"I've never had sex without closing my eyes and thinking about Wonder Woman at least a
little bit." A guy who's taken it upon himself to market a line of "Aquaman Sucks" t-shirts.
And in the other corner? D.C. Comics executive Bob Rozakis, who's written over 400 storylines
for D.C. comic books. (From second-tier superheroes like Aquaman, Hawkman, and Superboy
to heavy-hitters like Superman.) Rozakis personally wrote the script for six of the
Hostess Twinkies ads. Now, sporting a bad moustache, Rozakis takes a break from his
duties of answering comic book trivia questions on AOL to field questions from Seanbaby.
What's almost as interesting as the interview itself is the fact that it's actually taken
place.
But one of the most interesting revelations is that in the ads, the superheroes COULD NOT
EAT the cupcakes and Twinkies themselves, "because that could be interpreted as an
endorsement of the product." But the product still needed to be featured in the
ad, so the writer's challenge was to come up with "some interesting way to stop a crime
or a riot or something else using a dessert." I also liked the part in the interview
where SeanBaby grilled the D.C. executive about notable titles for the comics like "Spider-Man Spoils a Snatch."
(Which Rozakias side-steps by saying "I can't speak for what the guys writing the
Marvel ones were trying to do....") And as an added feature, SeanBaby heckles
some of the answers Rozakis concocted during his stint as the D.C. Comics "Answer Man."
For Seanbaby it's the successful conclusion to another long, geeky night in Beaverton,
Oregon -- and for web-surfers everywhere else, it's a chance to go behind-the-scenes at
one of the freakiest advertising hybrids ever. And who knows? Maybe you'll even end
up wanting to buy an Aquaman Sucks t-shirt!
