Celebrity endorsement impersonated

     
 

Shipley's Bladder-Capacity Improves
1998-12-01 22:25:00


Net Flotsam
 
What do you know about girls anyway, Gene? Ones with their heads still attached?
-- H. R. Pufenstuf

 

OmniGroup president and founder Wil Shipley reports he is able to go longer without relieving himself. "Today, when I went to pick up Karawynn, I didn't stop in the men's room or even think about it," Shipley reports in an on-line essay.

News-starved Shipley fans savored the 376-word journal entry in which Shipley examines the unexpectedly positive ramifications of this new development. "This was one of the things that kept me from traveling," Shipley notes.

Doctors had attributed Shipley's problem to a compulsive disorder--but Shipley reports he found a solution in his new -- and recently-doubled -- Zoloft prescription. "God damn it why didn't I do this a long time ago?"

In a six-paragraph analysis, Shipley also reports that he likes himself. "Don't get me wrong: I still liked us better than me," Shipley cautions fans. But the new insight leaves him optimistic.

"Someone is going to snatch me up," the compulsive Zoloft patient commented.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

aznar@pigdog.org


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