Build Date: Tue Jun 9 14:30:10 2026 UTC
I dance in my sleep, and fly; waking, I am clumsy and earthbound.
-- Juggler Vain
DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! SPAM ASSAULT APPROACHING!!
2000-05-08 16:52:05
Fuckinnnnn' A. Jupiter Communication says that there will be 7.3 billion dollars - that's $7,300,000,000.00 dollars spent on email advertising in 2005 in the US.
Since an email cost about 0.000001 cents each to send, that works out to roughly 730,000,000,000,000 emails or 2,517,241 emails per person per year or about 6,896 ads a day for every person in the US. I don't know about you, but I don't want 7,000 emails a day telling me to where buy spam software, how to great rich quick or offering to find me the woman of my dreams - all now sent with no way to actually contact the vendor. Which is something I don't understand. They spend all this time writing the ads - you know the ones... WITH LOTS OF CAPS - just like Mr. Bad writes - and then because soooooo many people hate the spammers guts and make that point exceeding clear to them in reply emails and faxs and shit, the spammers have responded buy making it impossible for you to actually contact them.
Anyway, I don't know about you, but I don't want 7,000 spam emails a day clogging up my mailbox like the arteries of some 500 pound sausage eating central European socialist lackey. Hell, the Pigdog-list is bad enough... the Internet is less then 20 years old and growing geometrically and I already got more unintelligible email then I can handle.
I hate the thought of turning this problem over to the Feds... cause you know whatever solution they come up with will only help the Man and fuck the little guys. I'm thinking that this is the golden age of email - and one that we will at some point look back and fondly remember.
Goddamn Fucking Spammers!!! like Daisy once said. "Aargh! It makes me want to crack skulls!"

T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)