Build Date: Wed May 21 10:30:19 2025 UTC
Klebold was a patsy.
-- Miles Standish
Am I a TOTAL Loser for Never Hearing of Ganglandnews Before?
2000-02-05 23:36:55
So, I got this lame junk mail from Brill's Content today, trying to get me to buy a subscription. They used this stratagem of listing all these things you would know if you'd read Brill's in the last few months. The thing is that it was all BULLSHIT, for example: there's this site called IMDB where you can look up movie info. NO SHIT, BRILL'S CONTENT. So I was dumbfounded that they had a blurb about this Gangland News site that I'd never heard of. How did that slip by?
See, I'm way more plugged in to the Web and practically everything else than those mincing nancy-boys at Brill's Content. What a bunch of PUSSIES, I have to say. "Waah waah waah, we are all so very sad. Waaah waaah waaah, we bemoan the state of American journalism." WANKERS! If you're looking for some journalism, you just come on over to PDJ, and I'll shovel that shit down your scrawny throats by the BUCKETFUL. "State of American Journalism," indeed! It is to laugh!
SO, you can see why I was shocked and outraged to hear about a site like Gangland News for the first time from a cheeseball outfit like B.C. What's happening to me? Have I lost my EDGE? Am I no longer the clued-in Web warlord I once was? Whither Mr. Bad? Whither online journalism?
If it was just some lame-ass e-commerce dot-com that sold bamboo ass-scratchers or something, well, it wouldn't be so bad. The thing is, this Gangland News is the FUNKY SHIT. I can't believe how great it is! The guy who runs ganglandnews.com, Jerry Capeci, was this organized crime beat reporter for the New York Daily News for 6 years. Then he wrote all these books about John Gotti and etc. and he's now the PRIMO SOURCE for organized crime info in the WORLD. And he's got a Web site, with a long column about organized crime that he updates every week! Beaujolais to him!
The best part about Gangland News is that he doesn't just cover the well-trodden ground of Italian organized crime. Sure, of course, there's plenty of Gottis and Palermos and Bonnanos and the like. But Gangland News also covers the excellent Chinese mafias like the Ghost Shadows and the Flying Dragons! Plus the Russians! And the Vietnamese! And the Koreans, and even the Fujianese! Why limit yourself to veal marsala and zitti when there's a SMORGASBORD of racketeering fun? That's the way I see it.
The main thing I don't like is that it's mostly about New York criminals, but what can you do? The guy's from New York, that's what he knows. And, as much of a bastardo San Francisco bigot as I am, I have to admit that New York is the place to go if you're going to be organizing heroin rings or construction rackets or pinball franchises. New York knows CRIME, that's for goddamn sure.
Go read ganglandnews.com now, and every week from here on out until the end of time. It's like having a serialized version of Nick Tosches's excellent novel, Trinities, except repeated over and over, every week. Go check this out. Tell 'em Mr. Bad sent you. Don't mention the "Brill's Content" part. Fuck those Brill's guys.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
