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Creatively-challenged? Pressed for time in the busy holiday season? Too whacked out on NO2 to think of a costume for Saturday's party? Don't despair! Just pick one of the ROYALTY-FREE costume ideas off of this week's Mr. Bad's List!

• an evil, bong-wielding, levitating Telebubby
• Lockergnome
• Dylan Klebold
• a pencil
• Eric Harris
• Richard Stallman
• Elizabeth "Liddy" Dole
• Former U.S. poet laureate Robert Haas
• Aphex Twin
• a pretzel
• Fat Elvis
• Tux
• a potato
• Krug
• Edna St. Vincent Millay
• a pencil shaped like a pretzel
• the Bondage Fairies
• Dwight Andreas
• the Slashdot effect
• Morrissey
• "Dandy" Don Marti
• HTML::Mason
• Charlie Brown dressed like a potato
• Fat Jake LaMotta
• a mimosa
• Carrot Top
• L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg
• John Stuart Mill
• a lighthouse
• the Bay Area BBS scene circa 1992
• Dixie Carter
• Evil Spock
• a ghost
• Electrowoman and Dynagirl
• object database technology
• Fat Boy Slim
• a Flavr-Savr tomato
• Mozilla
• a fuckhead Internet startup business guy
• the Fat Boys
• the obsolete GIF graphics format
• Marlene Dietrich
• a troll
• Dieter from "Schprockets"
• dselect
• the Crunchberry Monster thing
• Paul Klee
• Fat-free Jello Tapioca
• the angel Moroni
• SMIL "Boston"
• Jar Jar Binks with a spear through his head
• Del tha Funky Homosapien
• Cherry Poptart
• a cataract
• Bill Bixby
• Forth
• General Ursus
• Horace Greeley
• lowercase "n"
• Edward Scissorhands
• a "Six Million Dollar Man" lunchbox
• Java platform mascot "Duke"
• My Pretty Pony
• a Beowulf cluster computer
• Art Agnos
• Kibo
• Howard Hughes (the good years)
• Dan Rather
• a witch
• Bombay Sapphire
• William H. Macy
• the healing power of laughter
• Howard Hughes (the bad years)
• Paul Allen
• a WinAmp skin
• the Unknown Comic
• oppressive software patents
• Heather, Josh, and Mike
• The TI 99/4 personal computer
• Ed Anger
• circus peanuts
• Opus
• a Subaru
• NSA's top-secret Echelon project
• Gerry Halliwell
• Crash Bandicoot
• Neil Young
• "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
• Solex
• Waylon and Willie and the boys
• Craig's List
• the Best Buys price tag
• the pets.com dog sock puppet
• Jon Katz
• Louie Prima
• Mark Pauline
• Morley Shafer
• Jed Sanders, America's Favorite
• Razor and Blade
• T. Herman Zweibel
• Cole Porter
• Alan Keyes
• an infuriated mandrill

laredo@pigdog.org