Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's
List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to
know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical
argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall
-- they're definitely desperation tactics.
That won't scale.
That's been proven to be O(N^2) and we
need a solution that's O(NlogN).
There are, of course, various export
limitations on that technology.
The syntax is idiosyncratic.
Trying to build a team behind that technology would be a staffing
That can't be generalized to a cross-platform build.
Unfortunately, the license would contaminate our product.
If we go
with that idea, we're going to have Don Marti camped out in the front lobby
with 300 angry software jihad supporters.
Our support infrastructure
simply can't handle the volume that change would involve.
I had one of
the interns try that approach for another project, and it scrambled the CEO's
hard drive. So I think it's going to be a hard sell.
Yes, well, that's
just not the way things work in the real world.
I like your idea. Why
don't you write up a white paper and we'll review it at the next staff
Unfortunately, we're an all-FORTH shop. Otherwise, it's a
I think you need to stop taking this so personally. We need
to think about what's best for the project, not about our own little pet
Oh, I played with that approach back as an undergrad. Got a
I was reading about that on BugTraq yesterday.
believe that's the approach Windows NT is taking.
inefficient on modern hardware.
Well, yes, but it really reduces to
the knapsack problem in that case. Do you have some kind of heuristic, or are
we dealing with an NP-complete case?
Have you LOOKED at the number of
I/O requests that will create?
We can't afford the transaction
Yeah, or we could all just plink away on Amigas or
What? I don't speak your crazy moon-language.
Hmm. Didn't they just go bankrupt? It's OK, I guess -- there's some German
company who's picked up the existing service contracts.
No, no, no.
We're really working on an N-TIER architecture, here.
No, no, no. It's
fairly important that the database be in THIRD NORMAL FORM.
would break object encapsulation.
I don't think that's altogether
clear. Please write it up in UML for me.
I think there's a problem
with your drive geometry.
Can you generate some USE CASES that would
justify the change?
How is that going to impact the schedule?
RAM is cheap and all, but...
It would probably be best if we
deferred that until version 2.0.
I like it, but it is too point-oh for
If you make this change, I will fork the code.
Yes, well, unfortunately the economy is going away from anything remotely
like that. Our investors would kill us.
Jakob Nielsen wrote an
interesting hit piece on that.
Yes, yes, we've all read DJB's RFCs on
This is all covered in Knuth, and we don't have time to
go over it again.
This one is in the FAQ:
I don't have
time for this extropian nonsense.
Well, I guess we could start the QA
cycles again from square one. That would require a press release, though.
You used to program in Pascal, didn't you?
Why don't we make a
generalized solution including both options, and let the administrator decide
with a config-file setting?
You've obviously ignored the various
I don't think you're considering the performance
What kind of benchmarks have you been running?
Let's table this for now, and we'll talk about it one-on-one off-line.
This really doesn't jibe with our core competency.
This sort of
thing should really be outsourced.
I remember that IBM had a project
to do that back in the 70s.
Um, hello? We're using VON NEUMANN
We need this to fit on a single floppy.
but can this be embedded in a toaster, for example?
We need something
that my mom can use.
Users won't want to click through that many
layers of hierarchy.
The packaging costs will be prohibitive.
OK, but what about internationalization?
Look, would you just get
off your Be obsession for FIVE MINUTES and talk serious design with us?
That's a good idea -- you should do that on your home page.
Linuxcare tried that with the Sourceror project.
Ho, man! Are they
still AROUND? That's so cool. I thought that whole idea was discredited years
What you're not seeing is the difference between an 'is-a' and a
There is no hope for the widow's son, Boaz.
Yes, but we're standardizing on XML.
That doesn't fit into the MVC
Well, that's great if you have an AI running the thing.
Well, they're going to do that with the next version of Perl, so we should
Well, they're going to do that with the next version of
OS X, so we should probably wait.
I heard that the only real
application for that technology was child pornography. How did you hear about