Build Date: Thu May 1 02:50:43 2025 UTC
Goddamn Fox News online is impossible to read through all the ads. They are fucking their own readers SO HARD.
-- Master Squid
Ins and Outs for the Year 2001
2000-12-31 19:40:03
Whew! I bet you were worried Mr. Bad wasn't going to give you guidance for WHAT'S HOT and WHAT'S SNOT in the year 2001, weren't you! Hahaha! Oh ye of little faith! Mr. Bad will never, ever let you down. Trust in Mr. Bad to give you lists of futurist predictions and shit! Because that is what Mr. Bad does. He makes lists. That is his job.
Out | In |
---|---|
Boethius | Foucault |
Fun Saver disposable cameras | ferrets |
Mork and Mindy lunchboxes | Mork and Mindy sleeping bags |
MP3 radio stations | Boontling |
Personal Digital Assistants | Gigantic refridgerator-sized spaceship-running killer AI bots |
Po Bronson | Lawrence Durrell |
Mentos | The Devil Dolls |
R. U. Sirius | edible underwear |
American Spirits | Natural Blend |
dot-coms | shit disturbers |
juggs and hooters | big luscious black butts |
Draconians | Yeeks |
cyberporn | racy sidewalk chalk drawings |
distributed denial of service (DDOS) | distributed denial of freedom (DDOF) |
The Web | Freenet |
biscuits and gravy | bed-time stories |
Captain and Teneille | Just the Captain (No Teneille) |
MDMA | MDA |
slashdot.org | kuro5hin |
Ibiza | quilting |
Drum and bass | swing dancing |
Sisqo | Roosevelt Franklin |
keffiya | razor wire |
Raquel Darrian | Devon |
having babies | cloning |
Jimmy Carter | Subcomadante Marcos |
"Pirates of Penzance" | "The Mikado" |
data havens | monoliths |
hands-free cell phones | OK, I can't keep a straight face about the swing dancing one. Swing dancing is NOT coming back in. EVER. Sorry to mislead you, but it seemed funny at the time. |
benzine | the right-hand rule |
XML | Esperanto |
JSP | LAML |
sarcasm | harm reduction |
corndogs | vitamin E lotion |
.biz | AnarchyNIC |
Alan Greenspan | Abby Hoffman |
The 70s | betel nut |
"Barely Legal" | "Virgins" |
home fries | fruit cup |
Newspapers | Messenger pigeons |
new restaurants | Original Joe's |
sorghum | quinoa |
scooters | slutty Republican chicks |
weapons of Westernesse | Chaotic weapons |
peer-to-peer | underground |
Zen buddhism | asian thumbs |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
It was New Year's Eve and I wanted a signature drink I could hand to my guests. Something that they would accept with no fuss, drink quickly, and then want another. A drink simple enough that I could explain the recipe quickly -- thereby annointing each new guest as a bartender capable of making the drink -- and freeing me to enjoy myself. So I created The MAN-tini... (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)