Build Date: Thu Jun 12 10:30:17 2025 UTC
I would disarm the entire world, because it would be cool to see people have massive battles using only their teeth and nails. Those of us who floss regularly would soon rule the earth!
-- Mr. Bad
Ins and Outs for the Year 2001
2000-12-31 19:40:03
Whew! I bet you were worried Mr. Bad wasn't going to give you guidance for WHAT'S HOT and WHAT'S SNOT in the year 2001, weren't you! Hahaha! Oh ye of little faith! Mr. Bad will never, ever let you down. Trust in Mr. Bad to give you lists of futurist predictions and shit! Because that is what Mr. Bad does. He makes lists. That is his job.
| Out | In |
|---|---|
| Boethius | Foucault |
| Fun Saver disposable cameras | ferrets |
| Mork and Mindy lunchboxes | Mork and Mindy sleeping bags |
| MP3 radio stations | Boontling |
| Personal Digital Assistants | Gigantic refridgerator-sized spaceship-running killer AI bots |
| Po Bronson | Lawrence Durrell |
| Mentos | The Devil Dolls |
| R. U. Sirius | edible underwear |
| American Spirits | Natural Blend |
| dot-coms | shit disturbers |
| juggs and hooters | big luscious black butts |
| Draconians | Yeeks |
| cyberporn | racy sidewalk chalk drawings |
| distributed denial of service (DDOS) | distributed denial of freedom (DDOF) |
| The Web | Freenet |
| biscuits and gravy | bed-time stories |
| Captain and Teneille | Just the Captain (No Teneille) |
| MDMA | MDA |
| slashdot.org | kuro5hin |
| Ibiza | quilting |
| Drum and bass | swing dancing |
| Sisqo | Roosevelt Franklin |
| keffiya | razor wire |
| Raquel Darrian | Devon |
| having babies | cloning |
| Jimmy Carter | Subcomadante Marcos |
| "Pirates of Penzance" | "The Mikado" |
| data havens | monoliths |
| hands-free cell phones | OK, I can't keep a straight face about the swing dancing one. Swing dancing is NOT coming back in. EVER. Sorry to mislead you, but it seemed funny at the time. |
| benzine | the right-hand rule |
| XML | Esperanto |
| JSP | LAML |
| sarcasm | harm reduction |
| corndogs | vitamin E lotion |
| .biz | AnarchyNIC |
| Alan Greenspan | Abby Hoffman |
| The 70s | betel nut |
| "Barely Legal" | "Virgins" |
| home fries | fruit cup |
| Newspapers | Messenger pigeons |
| new restaurants | Original Joe's |
| sorghum | quinoa |
| scooters | slutty Republican chicks |
| weapons of Westernesse | Chaotic weapons |
| peer-to-peer | underground |
| Zen buddhism | asian thumbs |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
