Build Date: Fri Oct 4 11:00:13 2024 UTC
i don't want challenge, i want DEBIAN
-- elise
Another Milkman Bites the Dust
1999-06-18 03:00:56
BREAKING NEWS: Moose Jaw milkman Bill Matisz has called it quits after an illustrious 27-year career delivering fine dairy products to the people of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.
Matisz says he has no regrets; in fact, he's joined the demolition team that is currently tearing down the old Co-Op Creamery where Matisz worked his entire career! "It's a shame," he says, while acknowledging that it was probably inevitable since people just don't get their milk from the milkman like they did in the old days.
In other Moose Jaw news, the town will be blocking off Main Street for the Sidewalk Days celebration this weekend. Expect shopping, entertainment, food and fun for all ages!
Finally, teen newspaper columnist Christy Tkachuk wants to remind everyone that "Moose Jaw isn't a rainbow," meaning that we should all be careful not to discriminate against anyone just because they're not the same color as us.
Thanks, Christy.
T O P S T O R I E S
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
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It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
