Build Date: Fri Jan 2 14:10:13 2026 UTC
I guess that leaves killing Hare Krishnas as the only vice I've got left. Funny, because no one's been on me to kick that habit.
-- Bill Hicks
Political Judo
2012-02-27 08:23:07
I want to strongly urge all U.S. pigdoggies who are currently registered as Democrats (and who live in states that don't enjoy open primaries) to do as I have done and re-register as Republicans, for the specific purpose of voting for Rick Santorum in the upcoming primaries.
The Republican Presidential candidates - ALL of the Republican presidential candidates - have spent the past year pandering to the so-called Republican "base": the fundy Christian, Glen-Beck-watching, Rush-Limbaugh-listening, Obama-is-a-secret-Muslim-Kenyan-Communist-hell-bent-on-destroying-America, wingnut right.
You know - the Tea Party.
So, I think it's time that Democrats - in the spirit of Christian charity - gave that base EXACTLY what it wants in a Presidential nominee: Rick Santorum.
Which is to say, a rigidly-fundamentalist Christian extremist unshakably determined to entirely eliminate the gap between Church and State, and to turn the USA into the kind of intolerant theocracy the Republican base finds so admirable in nations like Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Pakistan.
Let's face it: Rick Santorum as the Republican nominee is pretty much a Democratic wet-dream. Obama can and will beat Santorum like a Taiko drum, because Santorum will get every vote of the Republican base - and that's ALL he'll get. In the process, he'll scare the bejesus out of the _Democratic_ base. Democrats will come out in droves to vote against him, which will mean Obama will enjoy very long coat-tails. And that, in turn, almost undoubtedly will mean that control of the House will pass back to the Democrats, they'll get another supermajority in the Senate, and Republican-sponsored wedge-issue ballot measures all across the country will go down in flames.
Oh, and California will probably wind up legalizing pot for recreational use, too.
I say it's high time we hijacked Rush Limbaugh's 2008 "Operation Chaos" playbook, and gave the Republican base the right man - the FAR right man - for the job of their Presidential candidate.
Won't you join me, and help give the Republican Party the frothy mix of religious fanaticism and voodoo economics it so adamantly demands in a candidate?
Vote for the man the base demands - vote Santorum.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)