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Political Judo
2012-02-27 08:23:07


Liberty
 
i am actually worried that somehow i've accidentally had test-tube babies with people i am possibly genetically RELATED to. hypothetically, would this be a problem?
-- rotten elf

 

I want to strongly urge all U.S. pigdoggies who are currently registered as Democrats (and who live in states that don't enjoy open primaries) to do as I have done and re-register as Republicans, for the specific purpose of voting for Rick Santorum in the upcoming primaries.

The Republican Presidential candidates - ALL of the Republican presidential candidates - have spent the past year pandering to the so-called Republican "base": the fundy Christian, Glen-Beck-watching, Rush-Limbaugh-listening, Obama-is-a-secret-Muslim-Kenyan-Communist-hell-bent-on-destroying-America, wingnut right.

You know - the Tea Party.

So, I think it's time that Democrats - in the spirit of Christian charity - gave that base EXACTLY what it wants in a Presidential nominee: Rick Santorum.

Which is to say, a rigidly-fundamentalist Christian extremist unshakably determined to entirely eliminate the gap between Church and State, and to turn the USA into the kind of intolerant theocracy the Republican base finds so admirable in nations like Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Pakistan.

Let's face it: Rick Santorum as the Republican nominee is pretty much a Democratic wet-dream. Obama can and will beat Santorum like a Taiko drum, because Santorum will get every vote of the Republican base - and that's ALL he'll get. In the process, he'll scare the bejesus out of the _Democratic_ base. Democrats will come out in droves to vote against him, which will mean Obama will enjoy very long coat-tails. And that, in turn, almost undoubtedly will mean that control of the House will pass back to the Democrats, they'll get another supermajority in the Senate, and Republican-sponsored wedge-issue ballot measures all across the country will go down in flames.

Oh, and California will probably wind up legalizing pot for recreational use, too.

I say it's high time we hijacked Rush Limbaugh's 2008 "Operation Chaos" playbook, and gave the Republican base the right man - the FAR right man - for the job of their Presidential candidate.

Won't you join me, and help give the Republican Party the frothy mix of religious fanaticism and voodoo economics it so adamantly demands in a candidate?

Vote for the man the base demands - vote Santorum.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

wary@pigdog.org


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