Build Date: Sat Apr 26 04:20:24 2025 UTC
I am against
R. U. Sirius. Did I say that already? Down with R. U. Sirius.
-- El Snatcher
Officer Friendly Howls in Frustration
1999-10-23 14:20:00
I make no bones about it: I hate cops. In my entire life, I've only met two cops that I consider to be shinning examples of being a peace officer. The rest I consider to be nothing more than uniformed thugs with guns. They exist within their own social circle with little to no contact with anyone who isn't a cop. They behave as if anyone who isn't a cop is considered a subhuman form of life to be looked down upon and herded like sick cattle. I'm certainly not the only person that feels this way about cops.
We have on record example after example of cops grossly abusing their positions of power. And unfortunately, the chances of you being on the business end of this abuse are becoming greater every day. Especially if you happen to be a non-Caucasian, male driver. No one in this country knows this better than the American Civil Liberties Union.
The ACLU, contrary to what AM radio blowhards would like you to believe, is a non-partisan organization devoted to the defense of Constitutional & Civil Rights. They have defended everyone from The Black Panthers to Oliver North. Recently, the ACLU placed on their web site a document that will have bad cops all over the United States punching the brick walls of the local donut shops in frustration.
In light of so many people being popped for "Driving While Black," the ACLU has created the "Bust Card." A set of instructions on what you should do if you a cop stops you, shows up on your doorstep, or arrests you. This is a must-have for anyone living in the U.S.
Some of the information contained on the "Bust Card" is common sense, such as keeping your wits about you and your temper in check when confronted with an arrest situation; and some is legal technicalities that not every citizen may be aware of, but would be in their best interest to memorize, in the event that a "worst case scenario" should arise. I admit, this probably won't make the cops treat you any better than everyone else. But it's good advice and a step in the right direction… and hopefully will make them think twice.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)