Build Date: Sat Aug 1 18:00:08 2026 UTC
This is a very efficient way to tell your liver "fuck you! I don't fucking like you!" To tell the truth, I'm afraid to stand up. I'm mildly buzzed, but judging by the level of whiskey in the jar when I stand up I am going to be sitting right back down again.
-- H.R. Taffs
Goatchildren on the Rise
1999-07-05 19:32:51
Were you out with the rest of the knuckle-dragging mobs of people, drinking crappy beer, and chanting "U-S-A" as cheap fireworks were shot off into the air? Not me. I proudly spent the entire Fourth of July showing my mother (yeah, my mom) videotapes of Bill Hicks' performances. And, dear readers, there is no greater thing you could possibly do to show that you love your country than that.
I must admit, that the jism jokes coming from my television put my wife and I in an awkward position. However, the comedy is on the same level as Lenny Bruce & Andy Kaufman. And in Hicks' comedy routine, we learn the importance of who we are as Americans, and how we as citizens should use our hearts and our souls and our brains to make this country a better place to live. So, as we celebrate the birth of this country, let us reflect on what Bill was trying to tell us.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Songs Of Love And Special Things
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Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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