Build Date: Fri Apr 17 11:00:07 2026 UTC
Any kid that isn't smart enough to disable Cybersitter doesn't deserve to get porn.
-- enigma
Down, Cato!
1999-06-26 17:06:10
Few images remain as clear in the public mind from the O.J. Simpson trial as that of tanned SoCal surfer-cum-actor and perennial houseguest Cato Caelin in the witness stand, testifying in court about his night in Brentwood. A diligent public citizen, Caelin has found a way to turn his notoriety to good use: he's founded the Cato Institute, a conservative Washington-based think tank that deals with tax issues relevant to beach guys and struggling actors.
The Cato Institute Web site doesn't mention Caelin much by name, but they don't really have to: an image of a marble bust of Cato Caelin himself appears on the front page. I think Caelin kind of takes a hands-off approach to the Institute, you know? But I'm sure he does a lot of fundraising and stuff, lending his name and image to the cause.
He's not dumb, either. So he probably also has a lot to say at those late-night pizza-and-beer brainstorming sessions about welfare reform and Social Security and stuff. Everybody probably kicks back on the floor with their shoes off and stuff and just kinda hashes things out. I'm guessing Cato must let most of the other people take the credit because, hey, he's ALREADY famous.
So for all you cynics out ther, you should check out the Cato Institute, and for a moment in this crazy selfish world remember there ARE some celebrities out there who are willing to give back to the community.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
