Build Date: Wed Oct 28 15:10:31 2026 UTC
You can begin with good smart people and an unbound optimism and in no time at all, everything can disintegrate. Threats and blows can fly; men once tame and meek can bloody the faces of friend and stranger. It's pretty fucking cool.
-- Mr. Bad
President Himself Uses Shitty Password
2000-06-30 13:54:53
Okay, so my first thought about this is that I'm worried that some asshole is going to swipe the President's password and start forging e-signatures on e-bills. I mean, your dog's name? Dumbass. My next concern is that the evil robot AIs use these signatures to take over....
Actually, that sounds pretty good. Evil robot AIs are sexy. And maybe they can put my junior high gym teacher in a braincase for unholy experiments.
Okay, Clinton used a smart card and a crappy password to sign a bill that allows electronic signatures. It's a big pretty champagne-against-the-boat thing, and I'm sure we all love his lame duck ass for being the President Who Brought Us Onto The Steam-Powered Nanometric Retrovirus Freeway.
The problem is that electronic signatures can be foiled. Maybe it's not easy to steal someone's card and learn their password, but it's also not *that* hard - people get mugged all the time, and are often stupid about passwords, like, say, naming them after their dog, which runs the risk that the dog will sell the password out. Of course, handwriting can also be forged, and I wouldn't be surprised if retinal scanning forgery became common once anyone gives a shit about it. And, eventually, as we move forward into this Sexy New Millenium, better techniques will be developed for forging biometric typing analysis, voice printing, and so on. The fact is, Presidential bill-signers and other upstanding citizens don't stand a chance of protecting their identity from the fakery of Bad People.
In the end, the problem is that we cannot come up with irrefutable proof of identity, because there is no irrefutable proof of identity.
So, I propose that instead of having electronic signatures, we should have electronic Zen Buddhist monks, with 256-bit-encrypted mantras and e-prayer beads, meditating on the lack of Self in the new Digital Era. Once we all dispel the Illusion of I, we can be assured of safe, private transactions online!
Um, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, President Clinton. Fuck you, you Communications Decency Act-signing motherfucker. You're not getting on my good side just for signing some incredibly obvious bill.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
