Build Date: Fri Oct 17 15:00:11 2025 UTC
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
Gross Homeopathic Linux Bigots!
1999-11-11 00:12:02
Check out these freaks at Linux Mall! If you want a job with them (in a "simultaneously fun, laid back and high pressure mode,") you have to be some kind of WEIRDO who's not only not allowed to smoke or wear perfumes, but apparently not allowed to KNOW ANYBODY WHO SMOKES!
It's all true:
"We have some people with allergies & chemical sensitivities, so we try to maintain a "safe" work environment. As such perfumes, and any non-natural or scented personal care items are strongly discouraged. We have approved products in all categories that we can share & refer you to. Anyone who smokes, or has immediate family that smokes need not apply."
What they mean by that "need not apply" line is "WE HATE YOU! YOU SMELL LIKE A FART! DIE!"
Also, they pay RIDICULOUSLY LOW salaries, like eight bucks an hour, and they expect you to work ELEVEN HOURS A DAY!
Ah HAHAHAHAHA! So don't nobody go work for Linux Mall, OK? Stupid John Tesh-loving weirdo sensitivity nazis! Fuckers!!!11
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)