Build Date: Wed Apr 15 23:00:07 2026 UTC
i thought maybe i should clearly state that i was kidding about the clones.
-- Sylvia
Red Herring must DIE DIE DIE
1999-07-18 19:27:46
So anyone who works in the techno-techno industry knows that Red Herring is not just a magazine and not just a Web site. It's an evil MIND-SAPPING RADIO STATION that sends waves of STUPID into the BRAINSTEMS of MARKETING PEOPLE everywhere. They MUST BE STOPPED!
For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know, Red Herring is the technology magazine for dipshits with Stanford MBAs who don't know jack about technology. Its basic purpose is to whip these brain-damaged lapdogs into a blood frenzy about totally useless and essentially boring new tech -- e.g., portals, push technology, XML, or whatever. For some reason, the Dockers set just eats this shit up.
I dunno what it is about Red Herring. Most business magazines have techno-techno stuff just like this now, but Red Herring in particular just gets my goat for some reason. I think it might just be the widespread success of the virulent Red Herring meme. Of all the dog-whippers, Red Herring is the best.
Like, every time that I am in a meeting across the table from some stupid guy from Marketing who says, "Marketing thinks we should use PUSH TECHNOLOGY" or "Marketing believes that a LINUX DEPLOYMENT is important at this juncture," I hear "Our Red Herring overlords have decreed that XML is our new god. All hail XML!"
I think the NUMBER ONE THING that hackers and geeks could do right now to make our lives more pleasant is to buy Red Herring and drastically change its editorial policy. Like, start having stories about how good it is for ROI to let your staff play Starcraft on HEAT. Or about how the hot new market is in Open Source software, and how it's crucial that all engineers have properly dicked-with .emacs files.
I think we could have those greasy-haired Polo-wearing lapdogs eating out of our hands in no time.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)