I want to kill bugs, sir!

     
 

Transfer Capacitor Storage Device
1999-06-30 11:11:10


Laughable Technology
 
Which is worse, a garden-variety moron or a zealot?
-- Johnnie Royale

 

The American Computer Company produced a web page announcing its new Transfer Capacitor Storage Device that can store 90GB on a device the size of a poker chip. Unlike previous announcements that ACC has made, this one is ALMOST FREE of references to the Roswell saucer crash and alien technologies.

"We have no idea where the drawings from which we derived our TCAP came from. They were extremely complex but not that detailed, we had to fill in the gaps. Obviously, very deep studies were performed, and IBM and Western Electric (Bell Labs) were involved in the 1947-1955 analysis of this technology, but from WHERE did it come? Neither IBM nor Bell could figure out what it did back then, but we have the advantages of a very brilliant scientist, and 50 years later science. Yet, compared to what the Army allegedly discovered 50 years ago, our rendering is probably rather primitive, but over time, as we develop more facilities, we should be able to migrate the Transcap into mainstream, replacing the Transistor. Average Humanity must be, on the intelligence scale, the equivalent of a "low grade moron" compared with wherever this device's design came from. In a report read to me yesterday, we have been told that IBM is extremely 'jumpy' about all this, and local confidential inquiries in the Westchester County, New York area around IBM's "New Orchard Road, Armonk" headquarters seems to indicate that while most IBM'ers agree with what we are doing 100%, IBM Corporate Relations continues to try to find ways to upset our applecart, pardon my pun."

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

uzerboozer@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl

09-29

El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

More Quickies...